I will not let you suffer, Kira
by Crystal heart of ruby love
Summary: When Kira's genes began to mutate and his life hung from a thread, I, Lacus Clyne, broke down for the first time. So, I heartlessly stowed my feelings away and decided to let him rest in peace because I will never let him suffer again... But am I wrong?
1. The Love I Have For You

_Author's note: It was very heart-breaking for me to write this. I suppose making Kira suffer in this story really made me very guilty and it's really hard to write. This story has already been planned out and the ending isn't very painful or distressing, at least both Kira and Lacus turned out to be happy at the end. So, please read and enjoy…_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

**I will not let you suffer again, Kira…**

I never thought that I would break down and lost my senses. Never… And I don't suppose Athrun, Cagalli or anyone else thought I would. I believed that I understood the world, that I would be able to accept all the problems that came, since I had been involved in two major wars. I've seen the people suffer, commanded the Eternal, escaped death closely numerous times and was ultimately, appointed Chairwoman of PLANTS. Being dragged into the war was never my idea, but I survived ordeal after ordeal. Meeting Kira, I suppose, was the best thing that could ever happen to me. And I believe, that if I hadn't been caught up in these wars, I wouldn't have met this charming, young man. However, I never imagined that this would happen to him, not after watching him battle strongly throughout the war, and I never thought that watching him suffer would make me snap and lost all my understanding of the world…


	2. I Will Not Let You Suffer

The corridor was always so silent and serene… always so white… And as I placed a step after another on the polished floor, the clicking of my heels reverberated continuously through the empty passageway, a soft click… click… so detached that it seemed to sound from a hollow tunnel far away…

I hated the familiarity of the place, hated the fact that I was tracing my footsteps of yesterday…

How long have I been walking down this passage?

How long have I left the way I came, with bitter tears coursing down my cheeks?

I didn't want to walk through this blinding white path again, not again, please…

The door at the end was white. White was a pure and innocent color; I suppose, it would complement Kira well if he hadn't been involved in the war…

With quivering fingers, I reached up to the brass knob and twisted it silently, pushing open the door of the ward slowly. The room was large, but it seemed small with the bulky hospital apparatuses. This wasn't right, Kira wasn't supposed to be here…

I turned my gaze to the still figure asleep on the bed… and approached slowly… hesitantly… lowering myself in the chair by his bed.

I ran my gaze down his body; studying his brown hair, watching the locks fall across his handsome face. He needed a haircut, I mused bitterly. His eyes were closed. I missed the glint in those amethyst orbs… His cheeks and lips were pale, their pink tints lost with his health… The oxygen mask was strapped tightly to him, thin mist appearing with every ragged breath he took. I watched his chest rise up and down, up and down, a sign to show that he was alive… I turned my faltering gaze to his muscular frame, glancing at the IV tubes that pierced his arms and wrists and the bag of liquid nutrients which hung above him, its tube leading down to his right wrist and puncturing his skin, marring his beautiful body…

How could you be here, Kira? How could all these needles tarnish your skin? How could you endure so much… pain?

His eyelids twitched slightly as his eyes rolled in their sockets. I reached towards his face gently, stroking his hair and cheek.

Did he know how much pain he was causing me?

Pain that had engulfed me six years ago, ever since that devastating news reached us…

I remembered when Kira talked to me about his father… Ulen Hibiki… I had wondered if it was right to experiment on your biological son; but I was thankful, thankful that Kira was a successful experiment.

Until three years after the Second Bloody Valentine War, Kira's health began to fail. We thought he was merely weak but we didn't know that his genes were beginning to mutate from the pressure he had endured in the Bloody Valentine Wars. The day he fainted had to be the worst day of my life, when I received news of his gene mutations and when he began his stay in the hospital. There was no cure and every time his genes mutated, part of his system failed and we watched as apparatus after apparatus were attached to his body to take the place of his failing system. He was moved from room to room, until he was placed in the room in the far, abandoned area of the hospital, where none but his doctors and we would visit.

Six long years… I wondered how much longer it would take for me to snap. The doctors had encouraged me to let him rest in peace, instead of lying in bed where pain prickled through his body with every breath he took.

I remembered the thought that had plagued me for nights. Would he be better off resting in peace? Was I forcing him to live in agony?

Kira's face contorted in pain for a moment but he didn't wake. I felt a pang of intense guilt. I felt like his torturer…

I bit my lip as tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn't watch him suffer anymore… I wouldn't…

I rose from my chair and left the room silently. I used to wait till he woke up and he would be able to see me everyday, but this time, he wouldn't see me… I couldn't let him, or the feelings that I had managed to slam into the box at the back of my heart would come tumbling out… and I would never again be able to come to the decision that I had made…

I will not let you suffer again, Kira…

_Author's note: How do you find the story? Please review. I will accept criticism on how heartless I am because I am prepared for that. And I apologize if this has been very distressing for you because it was for me when I wrote it. Please, please review…_


	3. I Will Be Selfish For You

_Author's note: There we are… The next chapter… Lacus will try to convince Cagalli, Athrun, Shinn, Lunamaria, Meyrin, Miriallia, Haruma and Caridad to let Kira rest in peace. Just a short chapter that will let you see the stand of the characters and their reaction to Kira's suffering throughout the six years..._

_And I would like to thank __Zero'N'oveR__ for the review. It was the first in several days since I published the story and I really appreciate it. And of course I would also like to thank Kiheada.Ray.T. for her review. It really, really motivated me to carry on with the story. _

_Now then, on with the next chapter… _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

Meals were silent when we sat down at the dinner table every night. Gentle clinking of metal against porcelain and glass reverberated through the strangely, quiet hall... lonely echoes in a forlorn room...

I stared past my dinner plate into past memories of the happy times we had had after the war... lovely times which I knew would never once again come back. They would forever be nothing more than memories and the love I had for him. I slowly lifted my fork and punctured the tender steak with it, drawing my knife across the meat. I brought it towards my mouth but queasiness growled in me. Resignedly, I laid down the fork on the plate for the umpteen times and returned to staring silently at the food that lay untouched in my plate.

A clatter of utensils hitting porcelain dinner plates tore through my daze and I turned my gaze to the blonde sitting across from me. Her brow was furrowed as she bore holes in her plate with her furious gold eyes. Heaving an irritated sigh mixed with weariness, she roughly pushed her plate across the table, sending it clattering into the dishes spread on the oak surface and earning several glances from around the table.

"Get rid of it!" Cagalli growled, "I don't have any appetite..." She whipped her napkin from the table with more force than necessary, sending her empty wine glass clinking onto the table.

I watched as Mana fidgeted behind her, before stepping forward and pulling the dinner plate towards Cagalli again. "Please eat, Miss Cagalli..." She urged, placing her fork and knife before her again.

The same scene happened every night. The weariness from those painful thoughts literally ate through us, leaving us an empty core filled with worry and exhaustion with an appetite for nothing. No one could manage more than half the plateful of food presented to us every night. Mana, Kisaka and the other maids and servants knew but they filled every plate to the brim with food, hoping in vain that one day we would finish it all...

I watched as the familiar scene unfolded before my eyes. An identical clattering came from beside Cagalli. Eyes turned to watch as Athrun pushed his plate away and crossed his arms, staring absently at the table top. I glanced down at my plate and guided the meat to my mouth, chewing and swallowing with painful difficulty.

Mana flittered between Athrun and Cagalli, pulling their plates towards them and persuading them to eat. Cagalli ignored her pleas and merely reached across Athrun and grabbed his wine glass, drowning it in one gulp. She poured herself another glass and contented herself with staring at the crimson liquid.

I continued staring at my plate silently. Across the table, clattering sounded again and again in the next few, excruciatingly still minutes until no one had their plates any longer. Hesitantly, I placed down my fork and likewise, shifted the white porcelain ware away from me.

Mana, who had skipped around the table, persuading and urging us to eat, had given up. Nothing could make us take another spoonful of food and the attention we gave to her pleas were minimal... an irritated glare from Cagalli, a weary expression from Athrun, a tired shake of the head from Meyrin, a sigh from Lunamaria, a dull glance from Shinn, a gentle pat on the hand from Caridad, a soft 'no, thank you' from Haruma and a smile that was drained of happiness from Miriallia... When she came to me, I merely forced a smile and shook my head...

I needed to get this over with...

"I went to see Kira today…" I muttered, breaking the silence, my voice weaker than I had planned it to be. Puzzled eyes rose up to look at me. "I've been thinking about what the doctors said… " I drawled, taking in a slow, deep breath before lifting my head to stare into their eyes. "…about letting Kira rest in peace…"

I paused, my voice wavering unsteadily, "And I've decided to agree and let him go…"

Shocked silence fell over the room like a dark shroud. I averted my eyes but the accusing glares continued relentlessly. Instead, I focused on the wine glass in Cagalli's hand. The crimson liquid shook as the pale hand holding the glass began to quiver. In reluctant fascination, I watched as the glass slipped through her fingers and fell towards the polished floor… breaking into irreplaceable shards… a shrill shatter that broke the still silence…

"What did you say… Lacus?" The voice was shaking despite her attempt to keep it steady.

I turned to look her straight in the eye. My vision blurred as tears threatened to overwhelm me and I whispered, "I've decided to let Kira rest in peace…"

Loud clanking shredded the uncomfortable quietness as I turned my gaze to the heavy oak chair that fell to the ground before returning my vision to the furious blonde leaning across the table, her eyes challenging me to repeat what I had said.

"I dare you to say that again…" She whispered, her voice deadly low. I repeated my decision calmly, my face an empty mask… but my heart struggling to control my spewing emotions.

Her attack was sudden… She lunged across the table and tried to grab my collar but was held back by Athrun when he bounded from his chair and pulled her back. Chairs were upset as everyone left the table to stop Cagalli.

I watched the struggle without a word; waiting patiently for the assault I had expected would come.

"Cagalli! Get a hold of yourself!" Athrun growled, pinning her arms to her side. "Let go of me, you bastard!" She shrugged off the hands and arms holding her down and shot an irate glare in my direction. "I won't let you do it!" She burst out, slamming a hand on the table.

"I don't want to see him suffer anymore…" I replied softly, my blue-gray eyes fixed on her fury, gold ones.

"I don't want to either, Lacus! But… but the hardest battle is to keep living!" She cried.

"Well, I don't want to see him battle anymore!" I shouted, leaping from my chair, ignoring the noisy clattering of it as it collided with the ground. Once again, the room fell into stunned silence at my atrocity. Unbelieving eyes turned to stare at me, shocked.

"The war is over!" I hollered, my voice shaking, tears slipping down my cheeks. "Kira doesn't need to fight anymore! He wasn't meant to fight in the first place, he was never meant to be part of the war… but after the battle, he has to struggle for his life again, and this time, his body is his own enemy! If I have a choice, I'll wish I could save him from this torture or take his place in the battle!"

I stopped only when my throat ached and my breath was coming in gasps. I clenched my fists and dropped my gaze to the table, "That's why… That's why I decided that it would be best if he… if we let him go…"

"That's not right, Lacus… None of these is right…" A voice close to breaking rose through the awkward silence. I raised my head and stared into the eyes of Miriallia. Emotion danced through them, so complex that I couldn't comprehend them. "Kira would never give up… Though… though it seems that life now is nothing but pain, I know he won't…" I interrupted her, my voice no more than a hoarse whisper, "Give up? I don't know what Kira is thinking now… I don't know if he has given up, but it's been six years, Miriallia… Six years… I wouldn't hold out so long if every breath I took was laced with pain. Six years, Miriallia… Six long, painful years for Kira. If being selfish could rid him of all these pain, I'll be selfish for him, I'll make him leave this world if he will be better off doing so… I need you to understand… that I've had enough of watching him suffer…"

Hesitation flashed through Miriallia's eyes and she turned away.

"Kira must have a choice, Lacus… You must talk to him first. Kira should make the last decision if he wants to… wants to leave this world…" Athrun said. He received an approving nod from Shinn, Meyrin and Lunamaria.

"If being selfish could rid him of all these pain, I'll be selfish for him; I'll make him leave this world if he will be better off doing so…" I repeated, determination lacing my voice as I stared into his emerald eyes. I needed them to know… to know that I had come to this decision after serious thoughts…

"If being selfish could rid him of all these pain, I'll be selfish for him…" Caridad's voice was soft when she spoke, repeating my line quietly. "I've seen Kira suffer enough, Lacus… And if being selfish can really help him, I'll be selfish with you…" She nodded at me as Haruma slid an arm around her waist.

I forced a smile and turned to Cagalli. Her head was lowered, her body shaking in Athrun's arms.

With a sob, she turned and dashed out of the room. Athrun called to her but ran out when she didn't reply.

I watched their retreating backs, the familiar agony gnarling in me. Turning, I traced Cagalli's steps and left the room behind, returning to the comfort of my silent bedroom… tears trickling down my cheeks.

I promised you, Kira, that I would never let you suffer again… And if being selfish and making you leave this world would rid you of the pain you endure every day, I'll be selfish for you…

_Author's note: And that's the end of the third chapter… How was it? Please review and tell me! I seriously need your reviews as encouragements. You may criticize me for being heartless too! But, please, please review!!!_


	4. The Memories I Hold In My Heart

_Author's note: I'm really sorry for not posting for so long. I've been rather busy lately. But… Here's the next chapter! This chapter reveals some snippets of the past when Kira's symptoms started. And something bad happens to Kira at the hospital... On with the next chapter... (Paragraphs in Italic are snippets of the past and memories)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters..._

The room felt so cold... so silent... so dark...

I lay on the smooth sheets of the bed, curled on my side, eyes closed, cheeks wet from tears.

I wondered if Cagalli was crying too. I had been rather harsh... I hadn't minced my words, hadn't used a gentler resolve to tell her that I was planning to end her brother's life, as easily as extinguishing a quivering flame of a candle...

She must hate me...

I opened my blue-gray eyes slowly, feeling the wet tears on my cheeks. My heart skipped a beat as my gaze fell on the burnished photo frame set on the surface of the dresser... the one we had chosen together... to edge the photograph of him and me... of us…

The last photograph we had taken before he... before his genes began to mutate...

"_Lacus? Have you seen Kira?" Cagalli said, as she thrust a stack of papers to the side, "He seems rather sick. Has he contracted a cold or something? It's so unlike him, what with his enhanced genes and all... But I dismissed him and made him return to the Orb Mansion to rest, giving Kisaka the responsibility to make sure he went back..."_

_I shrugged, shutting the computer as I massaged my temples. "I asked Kira if he was alright. He said he was... Does Athrun know anything?" I asked, peering at Cagalli through weary, blood-shot eyes. "No, I talked to Athrun. We're all too busy that I'm afraid we've neglected Kira. You and I should perhaps set aside our countries for a minute to take Kira to the doctor... And Athrun, Shinn, Luna and the other guys should put aside their duties for a while to find out what is wrong with our General!" She frowned thoughtfully as she returned to her work..._

If only, Kira, if only we had set aside our duties for a while, just a while… to care for you... This would never have happened… I'm so sorry, Kira…

I reached out slowly to the photo frame and took it down, bringing it into an embrace, wrapping my arms around it protectively… as the tears slid down my cheeks again… Painful regret seared through my heart, like a million cuts ripped open and scoured with burning tears.

"_Kira?" I muttered, concerned, holding his forearm to steady him as he staggered unsteadily, "Are you alright?" _

_He groaned softly but nodded, "Yeah... Just tired. Don't worry," He placed a hand reassuringly on mine before smiling weakly, "Go ahead... Everyone's hungry. I'll be right out with the tray..." _

_I nodded uncertainly and guided his hand to the countertop, directing him to his support. Picking up the tray again, I cast him a worried glance before leaving the kitchen..._

If only I had stayed to hold you… If only I had looked at you one more time and noticed the battle you were struggling to win inside…

_Shrill clattering tore through the delighted chattering in the dining room, leaving the room in stunned silence. I whipped my head around and stared at the kitchen, startled by the interruption. A sudden, shocking thought burst through my mind... Kira! _

_I dropped the tray on the table and hurtled across the room, crashing through the kitchen door and skidding to a halt several feet away from the still body of Kira, lying on the cold floor of the kitchen. The tray of plates lay shattered beside him..._

"_Kira!" I cried, dropping to my knees by his side. I cradled his head, stroking his pale face, pleading, "Wake up, Kira!" His eyes were closed, his face a deathly white, sweat slicking down his features._

_Athrun, Cagalli and the others tore into the kitchen and Athrun dropped down by Kira, reaching for his wrist. I watched frantically as he felt for a pulse and my world froze when he pointed towards the hall and yelled, "Call the hospital! Kira doesn't have a pulse!"_

I curled into myself, hugging the photo frame, crying freely from the anguish that tore through me, eating me alive…

_We ran down the bleak corridors, trying to catch up with the nurses dashing towards the emergency room, driving forward the gurney Kira lay on as they trundled down the hallway. Thundering footsteps pounded behind me as we neared the emergency room and I watched in exasperation as they tore through the doorway. A nurse left the troop surrounding Kira and pushed us back as we tried to head through the door. Someone grabbed my hand and hauled me to the glass window overlooking the emergency room and I watched through the glass, wringing my fingers in anxiety, hardly feeling the gentle hand placed on my shoulder. The turquoise-haired doctor was issuing orders, her lips moving quickly as she bent over Kira. She glanced up hurriedly when a nurse yelled at the declining line on the cardiac monitor. My heart stopped… It couldn't be…I wasn't aware of who was pulling me away from the window, but I fought hard against my bonder as she dragged me away, whispering, "The doctor needs to revive the patient, please wait outside…"_

I slowly uncurled from the stiff ball I had rolled into… keeping a firm hold on the photo frame… tears wet and sticky on my cheeks… as the painful memories sought my mind again. They haunted me, night after night, in sleep, in dreams, in nightmares…

Tears welled in my eyes again but I forced them back. It was late… and I was tired from all the crying... Gently, affectionately, I set the photo frame back in its place and lay down on the chilly bed silently… closing my eyes… letting the image of Kira hover in my mind before I slipped of into a fitful sleep...

§ ♥ §

Repeated beeping tore me from my sleep. I raised my head from my pillow and stared at the monitor by my bed with half-lidded eyes. The stubborn red light blinked continuously as I stretched over and pushed the button.

The features of Yzak flashed up on the screen. "Chairlady," He greeted as he saluted formally. I glanced briefly at the Orb logo above him and realized that he was in the Orb office Cagalli had assigned to him, the office in which he used when he came down to Orb to provide me with updates of PLANT.

How long had I not returned to PLANT? It must have been an awfully long time...

"Yzak? Commander Joule?" I muttered, rubbing an eye sleepily.

"I'm sorry to wake you up at this time, Chairlady..." He apologized. I noted a raging concern in his voice and I raised my head to stare at him. Yzak Joule was a hot-headed man; his concern could only mean issues of the utmost importance...

"Commander Elsman and I noticed a message running towards your private phone system and we rushed to the office and had it checked out. It is safe for you to receive..." His voice dropped to an anxious whisper, "It's from the hospital... It's something about... Kira..."

I stared at him, wide-eyed, my voice trapped in my throat. "Patch it in!" I gasped. He nodded and I watched in apprehension as his features vaporized in a storm of static before the familiar features of Doctor Chloe took over the screen, her turquoise hair ruffled.

"Miss Lacus? Chairlady? It's me, Chloe. I'm tremendously sorry to wake you at this hour..." She spoke quickly, her voice laced with uneasiness, "Kira's in danger... It seems that his genes have started mutating again. You should gather Mr. and Mrs. Yamato, Mr. and Mrs. Zala and the others and arrive in the hospital as soon as you can..."

She reached out to the switch of the communicator. "Wait," I muttered, too shocked to cry, "Chloe, please do everything you can to save Kira. I... I can't let him leave like that..."

She glanced at me, eyes glistening with tears. "I've been his doctor for six years and I'm not about to let anything bad happen to him..." She smiled reassuringly before her features disappeared and was replaced by Yzak's.

He watched as I left the bed and tugged on a robe hurriedly. "Join us at the hospital if you want, Yzak... Get Dearka too if he's with you..."

"We'll be there as soon as we can..." He replied and very softly, "Kira Yamato is a tough kid. He'll make it..." His features dissolved.

I dashed out of the room and headed towards the closed door of Cagalli and Athrun's bedroom.

I pounded on their door, waking them as loudly as I could. Athrun's tired face appeared at the door with Cagalli grumbling behind him. After my rushed explanation, they were wide awake and I ran down the corridor, banging on doors and yelling, not bothering that I was waking the entire household.

In a mere ten minutes, we were rushing out the door in all states of undress. Kisaka had started the limo and Athrun, his red sedan. We squeezed ourselves into the seats hurriedly and Shinn hauled himself on to his motorbike. The vehicles roared alive and whisked out of the garage, soaring down the road, leaving Mana and the rest of the household standing worriedly at the door.

Silently, I muttered a fearful prayer...

I failed once in protecting you, Kira... But I'll never fail again... I'll protect you and the many memories I hold in my heart...

§ ♥ §

_Author's note: And that's the end of the 4__th__ chapter. How did you find it? Please review and let me know. Reviews are great inspirations to me so please, please review... You may criticize me too... (I know this chapter somehow isn't as good as the previous ones)_


	5. The Shattering Of My Sanity

_Author's note: Hi there! I was really glad to receive reviews for the previous chapter. So thanks a lot, __revenantangel94 ,__some.azn.guy ,__SephirothOWAGOD ,__ronsyaoran , __Zero'N'oveR__ and __askani16_

_Right, now on with the next chapter. This chapter is mostly about what happens to Kira and Lacus' decisions waver slightly but she gains control of her emotions and she is more assured that her decisions are correct. Unfortunately, I admit that the ending of this chapter is slightly confusing. So, if it confuses you, please feel free to pose a question in the review section. I will try to answer the question as soon as possible._

_Now, let's get on with the story..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters._

Fear alone is a horrid thing... eating through its victims and leaving them empty cores at the brink of insanity...

And as I sprinted down the familiar bleak corridor, my world was reduced to nothing but a hazy daze... reducing me to nothing but a victim of fear, a feral animal screaming for release from the pain and hurt that cornered me in an iron cage...

The furious voice that reached us was familiar and as we burst around the corner of the corridor, we nearly collided headlong with Yzak and Dearka. The platinum-haired man seethed with anger, his face wearing an anxious frown, his hands grabbing the coat of a doctor. Nurses crowded him, trying to break them apart and calm him down.

"Cut it out!" Shinn snapped as Athrun and he broke Yzak away from the doctor before he could raise his fist and punch the innocent man.

"What sort of idiot are you?" Yzak snapped, kicking and squirming in Shinn and Athrun's locked arms. "How can you not even know where the patient is? I'll have you dismissed and I'll personally make sure you'll never be a doctor again!" The doctor backed away several steps, apologizing, "I'm sorry, Mr. Joule. Mr. Yamato was transferred to another faculty and Doctor Chloe has taken charge of him. I have absolutely no idea where he is now..."

My mind nearly released the last grip I had on my sanity... the last hope that I had to find Kira, to reach him as soon as possible... Scouring the entire hospital with its numerous surgery rooms were not what I had expected at that crucial moment... I had to be with Kira...

But the doctor was interrupted by a shrill voice calling out to me. The only voice full of hope and clear sanity ringing through the corridor... I spun around to see a nurse hurrying towards us, flustered.

"Over here! Please follow me! Doctor Chloe is attending to Mr. Yamato!" She grasped my wrist and took off, running down the corridor as I stumbled to catch up with her. Footsteps thundered behind me as everyone dashed after her, running.

She led us through corridor… after corridor and I followed in a daze, unaware of our destination, unaware of the pathway we were taking...

The journey there seemed like forever… like running through an endless maze, as time prolonged agony... and when she released my hand, I was left standing before the window overlooking an emergency room…

And I could only stare at the figure of Kira, lying on the gurney on the other side of the glass… All of a sudden, it seemed like my world was blotted out, leaving only him and me hovering in space… The halt of the footsteps behind me, the resounding gasps and broken crying all seemed to come to a standstill… And the white-coated doctors that hovered around his body, streaming in and out like through a crowd were nothing but a hazy background… He shouldn't be there…

Slowly, silently, I approached the glass and reached out, touching the freezing cold surface, gazing down at the amethyst eyes that shone back at me… Eyes that held a happiness to see us despite the criticality of his condition...

I crouched down slowly, sliding against the cold surface till my face was close to his, separated only by the glass. Placing my fingers on it, I tried to imagine how it would feel if the glass melted under my fingertips and I could touch his warm skin... something I hadn't done for a long, long time... Tears trickled down my cheeks.

He cast his mesmerizing eyes away for a second, a guilty expression flickering through those beautiful amethyst orbs. When he returned his gaze to me, he lifted a hand agonizingly and pressed it against my palm on the other side of the glass. A weak smile quirked at his dry, parched lips... so weak... so vague... the oxygen mask threatening to hinder and hide the precious recognition...

I tried to stop the little, bitter crystals slipping down my cheeks but the wound in my heart merely widened when I saw his silent plea... beseeching me to end my disconsolate crying, to dry my tears and flash him that smile I no longer had ever since those tragedies happened... the smile he loved and missed...

His eyes darted from my face and his solicit gaze fell at a point behind me, his eyes glazing over with hurt.

I didn't turn to look at what had caught his attention... but instead, I understood through the ambiguous reflection staring back at me from the glass... the cruel shard that didn't bother to hide the grief which seemed so plain in the room, gripping on to us in a tight grasp... squeezing us... choking us ...

I saw Cagalli's golden eyes staring dazedly into the emergency room, tears running down her cheeks, the shock still evident on her pale face, her arms wrapped around her slim stomach, squeezing herself in a desperate attempt to protect herself from the vicious grief as she leaned back into Athrun. His arm was around her frail figure which threatened to collapse, anxious to comfort her, yet, his concern was evidently overwhelming his own sanity, his emerald eyes fixated on Kira, windows to his vulnerable mind and heart...

Fear and time has a way with playing with us. Fear tears apart its victim slowly and agonizingly, and time... takes it's pleasure in prolonging the agony... And no one who stepped into the room escaped their claws...

I remembered watching hazily as Miriallia clung to Dearka, crying silently and Lunamaria embracing Meyrin as they sobbed, Shinn trying his best to comfort them, yet, his anxiety threatened to spill in hot, bitter tears... I recalled Yzak leaning against the wall, his eyes downcast… and the painful cries of Caridad as she wept into Haruma's shoulder while he hugged her desperately, his own tears slipping down his cheeks...

I returned my gaze from the grieving reflections to Kira and startled to see his imploring eyes burning into mine... the desperate plea... the pain they held... Yet, the mysterious joy to see us with him never faded, the gentle, affectionate happiness...

How could you bear so much pain but still be happy, Kira? How could your eyes still hold that loving glance, so soft, so gentle, so warm... How could you be in there? And yet, still be that innocent boy I had fallen in love with...

Those beautiful eyes never once left mine, the warm, gentle gaze watching me... And even as the needle of the syringe pierced his skin and the anesthesia ran through his blood, his gaze never shifted... his eyes winced from the pain inflicted... but they never left mine... never... A soft smile playing across his lips, a smile which faltered with the pain but returned quickly...

Until exhaustion tugged at him and those familiar deep pools of emotion had to slowly close, gradually shutting him from the grieving world… closing his world of pain from me…

White blinds were drawn across the window as the nurses closed our view of the emergency room… And I was left to lean against the cool glass, staring at the white blinds… blocked out from the only place I wanted to be in… from the place Kira was in… Tears trickled down my cheeks as the soft sobbing echoed in the otherwise silent room…

Waiting for fear and time to end its torment on us… for the door of the emergency room to open…

I needed him to leave the emergency room alive...

I had wondered if I was losing myself in the confused turmoil of emotions. I had made a decision to end Kira's life... I was sure of it... Yet, I didn't want to lose him this way, when his life was truly in danger and he was closed of in a room where no one he really knew was with him... I needed more time... more time to gather the broken fragments of my heart, my mind, my life... more time to be with him...

Perhaps, I was close to collapsing. I must be so selfish, Kira... You will hate me if you know what I need and want of you...

I needed you, needed more time to be with you... So I prayed you would leave the emergency room alive...

But, am I wrong in deciding to make you leave this world after I want you to be alive... for now... for me?

It might be painful to lose you, Kira... But it'll hurt so much more to see you in pain. I may be selfish, but if I can rid you of all this pain... I'll do anything... anything... Even making you leave this world and sealing our fates in endless agony... We're all breaking apart... Our sanity is shattering... But I'll pull myself together, Kira... For you...

_Author's note: How is this chapter? Good? Bad? Can be improved? Please review and let me know. And unfortunately, I admit that the ending is slightly confusing. So, if it confuses you, please feel free to pose a question in the review section. I will try to answer the question as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!! Oh, and please, please review!_


	6. The Sky's Crying

_Author's note: Hello there! I'm so sorry that I took such a long time to complete this chapter. I was out of town recently and unfortunately, this chapter was relatively hard to start off. I was experimenting with several beginnings and the content was difficult to link. But, finally, it's completed... However, I must admit that this chapter isn't as well written as my other previous chapters. So I'm sorry if it doesn't meet your expectations..._

_Now, about this chapter, Lacus has a talk with Cagalli and manages to convince her that letting Kira go is for the better. Later, she speaks to Chloe (Kira's doctor) and after, she voices her concerns and thoughts to Kira although he is still unconscious from the operation._

_Before we begin the chapter, I would like to thank __Kiheada.Ray.T.__shadow2777__Sephiroth__xXcatfishXx__Dreams – United__Kween Of Roses__revenantangel94__askani16__ and __some.azn.guy__ for their support and reviews. Thanks a lot!_

_Now, let's get on with this chapter..._

_Disclaimer: __I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters..._

The corridor was empty...

Muffled thunder rumbled overhead and soft shards of light fell on the polished floor, vanishing as quickly as they had appeared, distorted by the heavily-curtained glass windows...

The blinding lights overhead were so bright, so white... so bare...

And as I tottered through the corridor, fear enveloped me in a dark, ominous shroud. Yet, those lights seemed to taunt me... so bright as compared to that horror... their mocking rays shining down on me, exposing me... ceasing the last bit of privacy I had to my thoughts, exposing me to the mercy of fear...

The glass doors seemed like a long distance away. Light lit up the glass mystically as lightning streaked through the sky. The silver handles were icy when I reached for them and slowly pushed the glass door open.

Outside, rain was falling in glacial torrents, dark beads of water plummeting towards the ground...

I teetered towards the hospital garden where rain clouted down upon it mercilessly, and stopped just at the edge of the glass shelter leading from the entrance. I reached out gently, letting the rain fall on my palm.

The rain felt so cold... so wet...

"May I speak to you, Lacus?" The voice was soft, yet filled with a light bitterness.

I turned around, staring at her silently.

Cagalli acknowledged my silence. "Kira's made it through the operation..." She muttered sadly, "Is this considered destiny? Does it mean that Kira is supposed to live?" She glanced for the first time into my eyes and I saw the painful tears well in her golden orbs.

"I won't let you take away Kira's life, Lacus... I can't..."

My voice caught in my throat when I parted my lips to speak. "I don't want to see Kira suffering anymore, Cagalli. I think that... I think that letting Kira go would do him good, would do us good..." I whispered hoarsely, looking away and turning back to glance at the dark sky.

The sky was crying...

"Me neither, Lacus... But, it's just so hard to let him go! He's my brother..." Her voice dissolved in painful crying.

A single tear slid down my cheek, so cold, so bitter...

The rain continued to fall in cold sheets, drenching the earth...

My voice that came was cold and distant that it was a stranger to me. "I wanted Kira to be my husband... I wanted Kira to be with me all my life... I've lost my parents, Cagalli... Kira is the next closest thing I have..." I mused bitterly, lowering my head as crystals streaked down my cheeks, "But..." I shook my head.

Cagalli glanced at me, agony and fear lacing her eyes.

"It's unfair to Kira..." She whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"I know... But it's for the better... Cagalli..." I muttered, gazing at her with teary eyes.

She stared at me silently. And slowly, agonizingly... nodded...

"And what of Athrun? He would be infuriated. Shinn and the others would be livid." I asked softly.

"I'll talk to them. Will you speak to Chloe?"

I nodded. The tears had stopped but the rain continued...

"Lacus..." Cagalli approached me slowly, taking my hand in hers. Her grip was so cold... that the bitterness seeped into my heart. It was so hard for me... It was so hard for her... "I don't want Kira to leave this world unhappy. I want him to breathe his last in joy... He mustn't know this... He mustn't know that we... plan to make him leave this world..."

I nodded.

Then suggested what I felt would make Kira's last moment one of joy.

"Let's take Kira away from the hospital. He shouldn't need to spend his last moment here. And should we contact all the people Kira has once known? They have the right to know about this... We can arrange for them to see Kira for the last time, without letting Kira see them... without letting Kira know we plan to take his life..."

She nodded gratefully, a single tear streaking down her cheek. Slowly, she hugged me... before turning away and heading back into the lonely, bleak corridor of the hospital...

I watched her disappear. A lonely figure fading slowly... gradually...

Turning, I gazed at the rain for a moment. It hadn't ceased...

The sky was still crying...

§ ♥ §

Her office was silent except for her soft breathing. I watched as she shrugged out of her surgical coat and tossed it carelessly over the back of her chair, her usual tidiness dissolved in her exhaustion.

She collapsed in the chair and swiveled it around to look at me, running a shaky hand through her turquoise hair. A gentle smile played across her lips.

"You wanted to have a word with me, Lacus?" Her voice was gentle and weary.

I was silent for a while, merely watching her tired face...

"Kira was assigned several doctors before you became his surgeon. And every doctor he saw encouraged us to end Kira's life... They said it would be for the better of Kira and for us..." I paused, looking down at the white surface of the desk as tears threatened to overwhelm me, "But you're different, Chloe... You've tended to Kira for years but you have never asked us to end his life. Why?"

I glanced up at her, my vision blurred from tears.

She looked away from my gaze and stared at the window of her office. Rain was streaking down the glass in endless trickles.

"Kira... is a unique individual. He has a strong will, Lacus... It's just that, when you're with him, you will never see him as a patient but a beautiful soul... It's not right to taint him with the word 'death'..." She muttered softly, her eyes dazed in her thoughts.

It was hard for me... It was hard for Cagalli... It would be hard for Chloe...

"Chloe..." I murmured gently, waiting till she turned to look into my eyes, "We've decided to let Kira go... Cagalli, Caridad, Haruma and me... We've decided..."

Her eyes widened as she stared at me, her hands shaking ever so gently...

"Cagalli will be speaking to Athrun and the others to convince them... We've decided..." My voice was quivering... trembling... I had to stop it. I had to gain control over my spewing emotions. The box in which I had locked my emotions in was threatening to break into irreplaceable pieces...

Muffled thunder rumbled overhead...

"Lacus... no... This isn't right," She spoke quickly, her hand grabbing mine from across the desk. Tears glistened in her eyes.

"We've decided. I'm sorry, Chloe... I know we're being selfish to you and to Kira but... we'll do anything to protect Kira from this agony... We just want Kira to breathe his last in joy..."

The agony gnarling at me was intense. Slowly, I stood up and gently released my hand from her pleading grip...

"I'm sorry..." I muttered, turning away and heading out of her office door. The door closed behind me, shutting me out from the agony Chloe was facing... the agony we were all suffering from...

I glanced down the corridor... staring at the window across the hallway. The rain was still falling endlessly...

§ ♥ §

I ran a hand gently through his brown locks; brushing his fringe back from his forehead... watching the peaceful face asleep beneath my finger tips... the handsome face devoid of all that pain for just a little while as he floated through his dreams...

If only you could remain like that forever, always so free... dreaming of dreams without that familiar agony...

I studied his face closely... affectionately... Noting the beautiful high nose, the pale soft skin, the gentle lips obscured by the oxygen mask which clouded over with white mist at every soft breath...

How I wish your face would always stay in my memory... even after I let you go...

My eyes flittered to his chest, watching it rise weakly. A sign of hope... a sign to show that he was alive...

Yet, my heart clenched at the white bandages, the cause of the fourteen-hour operation...

I glanced towards the dark window. Outside, rain was flooding the streets, trickling down the glass in endless streams. Muffled thunder rumbled...

The sky was crying, Kira...

Returning my gaze to his calm face, I brushed his cheek gently and bent forward, pressing my lips to his temple. He never woke... but his breath hitched once before it steadied again...

His body was cold when I slowly tugged the quilt around him, careful with his chest.

He remained under the effects of the strong anesthesia.

Painful exhaustion tugged at me. It hurt to cry... If only I could be rid of the pain for a moment, just like you, Kira...

My voice was trapped in my throat when I forced my lips apart. Softly, I spoke the first word I could manage, "Kira..."

"I pray you will be free from this torture..." I whispered, stroking his brown hair slowly, "Will you hate me for making you leave? Am I being selfish?" A strained chuckle escaped my lips. "I love you so much, Kira... It hurts me to let you go. Will you hate me? For making you leave this world without your consent? It seems like I'm manipulating you..." I mused bitterly.

"We just want you to live your last moment happily. Not in this hospital, not in this agony... They're tainting you, Kira... You're not supposed to be here..."

The sky's crying, Kira... tears of pain, fear, agony... They'll never cease, Kira... never... until you're free from this pain...

The sky's crying... for you...

_Author's note: Somehow, I feel that this chapter is not as well-written as the previous chapters. So, I'm sorry if it doesn't meet your expectations. Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter. I had a really hard time trying to write this so please review to help me identify what is wrong with this chapter??? I simply don't know why this chapter is so badly-written as compared to the rest. Please, please review!!!_


	7. Part of our hearts

_Author's note: Finally, this chapter is out. This story is starting to get difficult to write... _

_Anyway, this chapter is basically about Lacus and the others' preparations to let Kira go. They spend several months trying to contact everyone whom Kira knew and all of them meet in the Orb Mansion to discuss about this. But alas, chaos broke loose and everyone starts quarrelling until Cagalli reveals a screen from which they could see Kira in the hospital. The image triggers painful emotions and reluctantly, they agree._

_Before we begin, let me thank: __Some.Azn.Guy__ (I do hope this story ends on a happy note, or rather one that pleases you. I can only say that the ending consists of both good and bad...), __revenantangel94__ (Thanks for your review and by the way, I know it's a bit too late but Happy Birthday!), __askani16__ (I know this chapter is updated quite late but I hope you like it! I will try to update sooner.), __Zero'N'oveR__ (I know I tend to be a little long-winded so sometimes, I tend to repeat some stuff. Hope you aren't put off by the repetition and I'm glad you like the character emotion.) and __xXcatfishXx__ (especially for helping me identify what's different about the previous chapter. After reading through once more, I quite agree with you.). Thanks a lot for your great reviews!!!_

_Now let's get on with this chapter..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

Silence was starting to play a major part in my life, I realized. And so was darkness…

The heavy curtains were pulled tightly across the windows, shutting out the luminosity of the large, white orb hanging in the starless night sky. The room was shrouded in darkness, except for a gentle, orange glow by the bed where the lamp shone in soft, tender earnest.

So much darkness and silence… like a warm blanket enveloping me... protecting me...

But, what in the first place... was I trying to hide from?

I glanced into the mirror… noting the dark rings around my eyes, the sickly, pale skin, the dull, pink tresses which slid down my back in disheveled knots…

The result of sleepless nights in which we spent hours on the phone and screen, seeking the locations of all who had known Kira… all who deserved to know that he was soon leaving the world…

I remembered the slow weeks that had came to pass. Minutes melted into hours; hours into days; days into weeks…

Time was precious to us; it was the agonizing, little reminder of how much time Kira would still have…

By day, we toiled in the cold, large offices of the Orb government building. Work became excuses to get rid of the tension and the stress… to momentarily disregard the painful knowledge that an important man would leave our hearts, taking away a part of it as he departed...

Work was the painful excuse to forget the fact that Kira would one day no longer lie on the hospital bed…

But, peace and calm was not to be ours...

We found ourselves worried and pressured by the sinister fear, closing in on us as the days passed.

Weary nights never failed to find us driving to the hospital and spending hours staring at Kira. He talked little under the strong medication and anesthesia but we were just contented to sit, gazing at him… aware that soon, we would never have the chance to see him again…

Home became the place we hardly returned to. We never went back to the Orb Mansion after visiting Kira… Instead, we departed the hospital for the Orb government building again. There, in the cold, silent offices, time passed, watching us on the phone for hours as we screened the computers, hunting for the people of Kira's past.

Miriallia had told us of Kira's old schoolmates; Cagalli had revealed stories of the people Kira had saved in the desert; Mu and Murrue had dug through records of the people Kira had known on the Archangel…

So many people to notify...

So many people who had once brushed past this young man...

So many people soon to be clutched in the cold, bottomless grip of that horrid fear...

But we talked little of our decision on the phone, refraining from disclosing the horrid fact that Kira would soon be gone before our very eyes...

Our decision... the single callous resolution which would close the book forever, ending the long and torturous chapters of six anguishing years... like penning a large "The End..." at the bottom of the last page with slow deliberate strokes, then binding the book and tossing it away to the highest shelf where you could see it there but you knew you could never reach it...

"_Is there something wrong with Kira?"_

"_There is something you must know... Not something I can say here... So please, come to Orb...We need to see you, to talk to you personally..."_

All questions avoided... None answered directly...

What exactly were we afraid to reveal?

It had been no easy task unveiling the news to those around us...

Fights had raged through the household and the Orb government building... arguments which led to the cold battle between Cagalli and Athrun... the personal criticisms which flew across the conference room during a meeting... the dinner table slowly emptying every night as we began staying away from home in a desperate attempt to clear our thoughts...

Until, one by one, we broke down...

Tears… Endless tears and reluctant agreements to let him go…

I watched the mirror dazedly… It was so hard to let him go… It was so hard to accept the fact…

And now, we had to once again announce that ugly truth…

Pass on that painful agony to all who knew you, Kira…

I reached for the dress arranged neatly on the bed. Azure blue satin… So bright a color yet it was the representation of sorrow… Ironic, I mused bitterly as I slid it on. My fingers quivered slightly as I knotted the ribbons and tugged at the zip.

Then slowly, I reached for the hairbrush and ran its bristles through my hair, unknotting the tussled locks. Clipped the golden pin in the neatly brushed hair and stared into the mirror…

I seemed so neat, so calm on the outside, yet, on the inside, I was churning with fear and emotions…

Stepping away, I approached the door and opened it with trembling fingers. Cagalli turned to glance at me when she heard the soft creak of the door.

"They're all here…" Her voice was cracking with emotion. She took my hand and drew me away from the dark room. The door closed with a click behind me, shutting me out from my safe haven…

§ ♥ §

Friends had turned to foes...

The anxiety which had first clouded the room had given way to bristling anger. Sharp glares pierced through us like accusing daggers seeking revenge...

We were that guilty... that accountable and responsible...

Bathed in that reproachful world of silence...

"We wish Kira to leave this world happily, so I'm afraid we can't allow you to see Kira for..." I flinched when a fist collided with the table in a resounding bang, my words brought to a halt by the gesture of fury.

I glanced up and my blue-gray eyes met the icy pale blue orbs of Sai Argyle.

"Sai..." Miriallia whispered hoarsely.

The brunette never shifted his fiery glance. "Listen," He growled, his voice low, "I don't understand how in the world all of you could come up with such a horrid idea. But, Kira should not need to die..."

Kuzzey Buskirk leaned forward, his fingers interlocked, "How serious is this... gene mutation? Is it so torturous that at this point of time, we must kill Kira?"

I parted my lips to reply but Kojiro Murdoch interrupted, his deep voice filled with protest, "That kid would never have wanted this. I think we ought to talk to him..."

"There's no need to talk. I say we drop this insanity..." Mu barked, "We're being unfair to the kid..."

"We don't know the seriousness of this whole affair. I suggest we see Kira before we start quarreling..." Erica Simmons protested.

I glanced away as arguments and quarrels erupted from across the conference room... painful accusations, insulting criticisms, beseeching protests...

All that agony we suffered from was being passed on to all those you once knew, Kira...

§ ♥ §

I watched the screen distractedly, silently observing the brunette...

I remembered the hushed silence which had swept through the room like a haunted spirit when Cagalli had drawn their attention to the screen... The quarrels and arguments had ceased, only to be taken over by the stunned silence as they personally watched Kira hooked up on the numerous hospital apparatuses, his closed eyes frowning as a stab of pain racked his body...

The still figure lying on the hospital bed, swathed in soft blankets... That young man they all knew in some way... The young man they were gathered here for, debating on his life as though it was something so insignificant, so immaterial that we could manipulate it...

Tears threatened to blur my vision but my gaze continued to stay fixed on the screen, my calm breathing the only sound in the otherwise empty room...

A soft whimper escaped his pale lips and he turned onto his side, slowly and painfully... The quilt slid off slightly with his movement, exposing his bandaged chest.

Tears prickled at my eyes...

What can I do to help you, Kira? What can I do to give you a peaceful sleep, just a single, calm moment for you to dream of those beautiful dreams without you feeling a slightest bit of discomfort, a slightest bit of pain? What can I do to return you all that you should have?

It hurts me whenever I see you in pain, whenever I hear you whimper, whenever I feel you tremble from the agony...

I reached out to the screen gingerly, touching the surface with tender fingers, pressing desperately against the glass.

Icy tears streamed down my cheeks.

I couldn't even touch him... couldn't even tug the quilt around his body... couldn't even press my lips to his cheek to soothe his discomfort...

What could I do to take away the torment?

The image scoured the wounds of my heart with tears...

The same image which had broken down every single person in the conference room, shattering us like fragile pieces of glass...

For minutes, no one had spoken... merely watching the painful struggles of Kira... the tears of shock and sympathy trickling down their stunned faces...

Then, one by one, they left dazedly... leaving the single promise not to visit Kira until the day we were all to meet at the beach where Kira would breathe his last...

I leaned closer to the screen, gazing at it... watching as the man in my heart fell into a fitful sleep. And gently, I pressed my lips against the glass, closing my eyes as tears spilled over my cheeks...

I wish I could help you, Kira... I wish you could transfer all your pain to me, let me share them with you; let me understand just what your frail body has to endure...

It pains me to know that you are suffering... while I am guiltily preparing to let you go without you knowing... selfishly spreading the agony to all who know you...

It's no longer just about us, but everyone whom you have touched throughout your life...

Everyone who remembers you in some way...

Just like how you will always stay in my memory, Kira...

Just like how you will always be part of our lives...

Part of our hearts...

_Author's note: That's the end of this chapter. What do you think of it? Please, please review. I really, really appreciate reviews. They're really encouragements to me, so please review._

_(In the next chapter I will reveal more about the people who actually came to the meeting in this chapter. There are still quite a lot more not listed in the chapter here. But, do you think that it would be helpful if I list all of them down before I write the next chapter so that it will be easier for you to understand this chapter and the next chapter as well? If so, feel free to tell me that in your review. I will do what I can to clear any confusion!!!)_


	8. The Breaking Hearts Around You: Part I

_Author's note: I must apologize for taking so long to complete this chapter. This chapter involves quite a lot of characters whom I don't often read or write about; in addition, this is one of the longer chapters I've written, so it really took me quite a while to write all this. This is only the first part of the entire chapter I had planned. I will be uploading the second part as soon as I finish it. But, right now, I hope you enjoy this. It's the night before the day Kira is supposed to be 'let go' and Lacus is being greatly affected. She wanders through the house, in search of memories, but, instead sees many other characters being affected as well which include: Athrun, Lunamaria, Meyrin, Miriallia, Dearka, Yzak and Shiho (with a little bit about Ezalia Joule). In the next part of this chapter, I will write about all other characters. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this._

_Before we begin, let me thank __Zero'N'oveR__ (I apologize if this story is really starting to lose its value of detail. I will try to improve on it. Thanks for your review!),__revenantangel94__ (Thanks for your review. I'm glad you like the story!), __Diclonius' Lilium__ (I apologize if I accidentally brought up sad memories. I'm really sorry! And I'm glad you like the story even though you dislike Lacus. Thanks for your review and your recommendation of Elfen Lied! If I have a chance, I'll watch it!), __Chopstxx24__ (I'm glad you like this story. Thanks for your compliment and hope to hear from you soon!), __askani16__ (I seriously hope this story isn't getting too draggy for you. I hope you like this chapter because it actually relates about other characters around Kira. As for Kira himself, I already have plans to reveal his thoughts in one of the later chapters to come. Hope you can take some time off to read. Thanks for your review!), __Kiheada.Ray.T.__ (Thanks for your compliment; I'm glad you like the story. Sorry about doing all this to Kira though. I promise I won't try to hurt Kira so much!), __Sephiroth__ (Thanks for your review. I'll certainly take into consideration about Flay Allstar. However, most likely, she' ll appear in something more like a memory rather than her being alive. I'll have this in the next part of the chapter. Hope you will like it. And I'll be elaborating on Kira's disease too!), __Cthreen__ (Hi, I'm glad you like the story. If you would like to know the end, I hope you can take some time off to read. Can't reveal the ending, can I? I'll spoil the anticipation. But, thanks for your review!), __snowdrop.tears__ [a personal friend of mine (I really appreciate it that you are reading my story even though you are sick. Thanks so much, and by the way, see you!) and lastly, Justin Curry (Thanks so much for your review. Hope to hear from you soon!)_

_Okay, that's the end of a long author's note. Read on and I hope you like it!!!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

The walls were always so white, so similar to that of the hospital rooms, yet so different… with those white, polished tiles, light glinting off their surfaces… The light overhead was a perfect circle, a bright, white moon beaming down on the tiled floors and walls of the bathroom…

The air was silent and still, only the quiet hissing of the shower whispered in the bathroom, like a distant sound faraway... like something detached from my life.

I braced my hands against the cold, white walls as the water showered down on me, running down my bare back in long, endless streams, trickling down my calves and ankles. I remembered hazily altering the temperature of the water, until thin, fine mist was clouding the little enclosed area… Yet, as the warm water cascaded down my body, it felt so cold… icy cold…

Raising my head, I closed my eyes and allowed the torrents of water to run down my face. It felt like rain… that cold, unsympathetic rain which fell from the heavens, drenching me mercilessly…

Tears mingled with the streams flowing down my cheeks…

My heart and mind was shrieking at me with that agonizing hollow ache which seemed to rip me apart from the inside, breaking the ice my stomach and throat had become... The shower engulfed me in a waterfall, in a comforting embrace, but it did absolutely nothing to soothe the wounds in my heart… I prayed for that little bit of purity and calmness water could give me, but it merely continued flowing downwards meaninglessly, pooling around my feet...

My hand slid across the surface of the cold wall and closed weakly around the silver tap. With a slow twist of my wrist, the shower's hissing died down abruptly, leaving only a soft drip… drip…

I stood in the painfully white-tiled area… staring downwards at the small pool around my feet. The water rippled as droplets of water slid down my arms, before falling downwards…

Once, drip…

Twice, drip…

It had become so silent… so calm and quiet, except for the constant drip-drops…

I watched the wavering reflection staring back at me from that little 'mirror'… My hair had sleeked down my shoulders in long, wet drapes, shielding half my face in a pink curtain. My eyes were stoned, swollen-red blue-gray orbs which seemed to stare beyond, into something I couldn't see…

Slowly, I straightened. The white, bleak tiled wall stared back at me, so cold, so implacable…

Pushing open the tinted glass door, I stepped out, feeling the hard, chilly floor beneath my feet. My hand which reached for the towel was trembling and the quivering fingers wrapped the thick, soft material around my body, knotting it unsteadily. It fell to just above my knees, effectively covering my body, yet it didn't make me feel any warmer, didn't grant me any more comfort.

I found myself moving towards the misted mirror, my feet silent on the tiles. My right hand clamped around the rim of the sink and my other reached for the mirror. Cold bit into my palm as I ran my fingers across the mirror, smoothing away the mist, revealing the reflection which surged into my eyes.

I didn't see myself in the mirror…

I saw memories… I saw him, his brown hair falling in that familiar untidy way over his brow, his beautiful violet eyes twinkling with the naive ness of a child, his lips curled in a mesmerizing smile…

Then, the image seemed to materialize, and another took over that innocent portrayal, one which made my heart clench and tears prick at my eyes. I saw him on the hospital bed, his cheeks sallow, his eyes glazed over from the excruciating pain, that nuisance of an oxygen mask slipped over his pale, flaky lips… but that smile was still there, was still within my reach…

I stretched out eager fingers, trying to caress his cheek, yet… they never found that smooth skin, instead, they touched cold, hard glass. Kira vanished as quickly as he came…

It was like a shocking reminder which tore its way into my mind as I doubled over the sink, sobbing wretchedly, fingers clenched tightly around the white sink. I would never see him again… never… After tomorrow, that hospital bed would forever be empty…

When I moved stealthily out of the cold wet bathroom and into the warmth of my bedroom, my throat was raw and my eyes sore from the crying. The light had been turned down and the entire space was illuminated with a warm, gentle orange glow from the lamp by my bed.

Reaching out gently, I unknotted the towel and toweled my hair in slow, deliberate moves, then let it fall to the ground in a white puddle at my feet. I slid the pale bluish gown of the bed and eased into it, my eyes downcast as I woke deftly on the ribbons and knots.

Unbelievable pain was gnarling at me when I found myself staring into the mirror, my hand running the hairbrush through my hair, combing out the wet tangles. Gently, I replaced the brush on the dresser and contented myself with merely staring at the stranger in the reflection.

After tomorrow… after tomorrow, he would be rid of all that pain… And the wreck of agony I was suffering from would perhaps be replaced by a greater realization that I would never see him again…

A pain which would never disappear…

Tonight… would probably be the last night everything seemed the way it was for me. Things would all be different after sunset tomorrow…

I needed to spend this last night in those beautiful memories… I didn't care if I was prolonging the agony by traveling through memories again, by reminding myself that they were only memories… by stabbing my heart once more…

Determined, I found myself walking out of my room for the first time in hours, revisiting every corner of the Orb Mansion which held memories of us…

§ ♥ §

The Orb Mansion was engulfed in total silence… but I knew despite the late hours, no one was asleep… Mana had left the lamps and chandeliers illuminating the corridors, and I was wandering down them aimlessly… in search of memories, yet afraid… afraid that the pain would be too much for me to handle when I scoured those wounds with fresh tears…

I needed to understand my directions. But, no one was there to lead me… I knew the house held memories for us, but where to start, where to go?

Kira, please protect these memories…

Please lead me… guide me… hold my hand in that warm grip of yours and take me to where I know I will be happy… My eyes were blurring from tears. I wish you were here, Kira… I wish there was something to guide me…

And then I heard it...

That beautiful, crystal clear voice I hadn't heard for ages, so long that it had been buried at the back of my mind, stowed away in a tiny delicate chest under lock and key.

A loving twitter, like the gentle jingling of silver wind chimes swaying in the breeze...

"Birdy!"

My head jerked up and I stared down the dimly lit corridor, dazed indigo eyes searching for something. Something to betray the ambiguous sound which I had believed I would only hear again once upon a dream, to reassure me that I was not hallucinating...

That voice... That precious voice...

My footsteps echoed in the silent corridor as my feet hastened across the parquet flooring, my eyes seeking those familiar emerald and blonde feathers. I couldn't be dreaming... I couldn't have been hearing things...

I knew that voice... I knew it anywhere...

I stopped by the door of Cagalli and Athrun's bedroom, gazing into it with eyes glazed over with emotion... The room was silent and dim, dark garnet curtains drawn across the windows, shutting out any light. The glass door leading to the balcony was covered in the same way, shaded with maroon drapes of heavy silk, leaving only a single beam of pale moonlight to fall across the room floor and the bed in a single wavering line.

I watched him propped against the pillows on his bed, the table lamp casting a gentle glow on his navy-blue hair. His right knee was drawn up to his chest, his forearm resting on it as his jade eyes stared intently at the photograph he held between his quivering fingers.

And there was that little creature... perched on his shoulder, its olive green head cocked to the side in that adorable manner I could never forget, its ruby eyes watching the picture in Athrun's hand with that vague curiosity that hadn't left it even after all those years Athrun had disconnected it.

Pain gnarled at me as I watched the beautiful bird... the same pain which clutched me whenever I saw Kira...

Perhaps, that was why Athrun had shut Birdy down after Kira had fallen prey to his own body. Because... seeing Birdy was seeing Kira and Birdy was the constant bestowal of pain... Birdy was the agonizing reminder of Kira... And no matter how heartless we seemed to be, somehow... we wished that we were not engulfed in such tortures and we did all we could to escape their merciless claws...

Sub-consciously, we wished to erase traces of Kira...

I stared on at the scene motionlessly, frozen to the floor by the surge of emotions coursing through my blood.

Seeing Birdy... was like sitting by Kira's side once again... Running my fingers through his brown locks, brushing my lips against his smooth cheek, smiling at his twinkling amethyst eyes, hearing his voice telling me he would return to my side...

What did this mean? What did this signify? Why did Athrun revive Birdy? Why was I seeing Birdy the night before I knew part of my heart would forever be gone?

"Birdy? Birdy!"

The affectionate tweeting tore me from my trance as Birdy took off, soaring through the quiet, still air, heading towards the door where I stood, bemused. I reached out a hand hesitantly and watched as the little robot landed on my palm, cheeping and clicking its crimson beak earnestly. I smiled weakly at the pretty creature, stroking its side tenderly with a gentle finger.

Athrun raised his head slowly and turned to the door when Birdy approached me. He sat silently where he was, watching me caress Birdy.

And I found myself crying at the image and the feel of that familiar bird settling on my finger... Crystals were sliding down my cheeks in endless streams as I drew the sweet little creature to my chest, the hollow, painful ache burrowing deep in my heart...

I swallowed and bit my lip, trying to take control of my spewing emotions. And when I could finally raise my head to peer at Athrun, I noticed his red, swollen eyes... I tried to speak but my voice was caught in my throat and all I could do was to continue stroking the bird in my hands and stare at him, confused.

He broke the silence first, returning his gaze to the photograph. "I thought that Kira would like to see Birdy once more before he leaves..." His voice was soft and hoarse and filled with such intense sorrow that it was strange to my ears, "I want to make him happy one last time..." He fell silent again, his gaze so tender and affectionate as it stayed fixed on the photograph.

I brought Birdy away from my embrace and stretched out my hand, giving it a little tug into the air. Birdy understood my gesture and took off, chirping as it patrolled the perimeter of the room swiftly before landing on Athrun's shoulder. It turned its head and observed me with those inquisitive ruby eyes again before letting out a sorrowful chirp.

My eyes stung as tears attacked again...

Athrun's left leg shifted and he drew his other knee up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his shins, the photograph held limply between his fingers and he buried his face between his knees, away from my sight. His sobs were silent, given away only by the trembling of his shoulders.

Birdy nipped at his hair concernedly, its beady eyes watching him anxiously.

As I closed the room door behind me and left down the corridor, leaving him to find peace in his own dark haven, I caught a glimpse of the photograph he had been staring at. It was the picture of them when they were younger, when they were never involved in the wars... when they were just pure, innocent children running alongside each other, navy-blue hair mingling with brown tresses in the spring wind...

In the silence of the empty corridor, I heard a single mournful twittering from the little creature's ruby beak...

§ ♥ §

The corridors and rooms were strange to me, as though I had been thrown into some endless pit, an unknown world of inverted mirrors and glass, filled with illusions and hallucinations. And I was merely a tiny, insignificant being, wandering aimlessly through the maze...

My feet continued their journey even though it didn't seem like I was the one controlling them, deciding on the route to take. I walked, and walked, and walked... meandering through the long hallways, the painted walls seeming to scour past me like a fuzzy background revolving all around.

Until I found myself staring into the dark room at the end of the corridor... watching the two sisters with that similar aching deep in my heart...

Soft, gentle humming slipped through Lunamaria's lips, as her lilac eyes tenderly watched her younger sister, her magenta hair falling over the side of her face to shield a part of it from my gaze. A hand was stroking Meyrin's crimson locks and the other, petting Meyrin's shoulder rhythmically to her melody as she soothed her sister to sleep.

In the pale moonlight, I noted the sparkling stream of tears streaking down Meyrin's cheeks, even as her lavender eyes stayed close in her sleep.

I stared at the poignant image, wondering about the dreams in her sleep.

Dreams, nightmares... they never left any of us. As soon as we lay in bed and closed our eyes, they began their torment on us. Images of Kira lying in the hospital bed, seemingly asleep but never to awake again...

Tears trickled down my right cheek as my eyes glazed over with unshed tears. And one, after another, they fell when I heard Meyrin speak...

Her eyes remained closed as she soared through her dreams, but a tear had slid down the same path other crystals had taken, only to seep into Lunamaria's skirt where her head laid in her sister's lap.

"Kira... is a good friend..." Her words were slurred with sleep but the grief and fear was evident, "good person... don't take him away, please don't... Lacus... Cagalli... need Kira... We need him... don't take him away..." Her voice faltered until there was silence again.

Lunamaria's hand left Meyrin's shoulder to cover her closed lilac eyes. I watched as Lunamaria bit her lower lip and the tears streamed down her cheeks from under her hand. A painful whisper escaped her lips, "Why..."

A question I couldn't answer… A question I didn't have a reply to…

The lace curtains drawn across the windows were fluttering in the night breeze, casting distorted shadows on the floor. Through the translucent material, I could see the large, white orb in the starless sky, bordered by the white window frame, like a beautiful picture... So beautiful, but so unreal in that sorrowful night...

I turned away and continued down the corridor, tottering unsteadily. And the calm, peaceful humming of Lunamaria drifted down the corridor after me... the soothing melody of a song I used to sing...

Fields of hope...

§ ♥ §

Perhaps, I was getting so used to silence… so familiar with it, that it had somehow become a part of my life… a part of our lives… whereby we spent hours sitting around by ourselves, speaking of nothing, yet our thoughts remained clouded with questions and confusion…

When the loud commotion drifted through the corridor, it was something different, something so little heard of in the household anymore… that it was a mere stranger to my ears… They were fighting when I rounded the bend and froze to a stop, watching them struggle.

Brown hair was mingling with blonde as they fought furiously. Dearka had Miriallia in a tight lock, but she wrestled against him, fighting to break free, her auburn hair flying wildly. They grappled to the far end of the wall and Miriallia took advantage of Dearka's position, shoving her back against him repeatedly.

I winced as Dearka's back collided with the wall in resounding thuds.

"Let go of me, you bastard!" She shrieked, arching against Dearka, effectively pinning him under her.

"I'm not, if you don't start calming down!" Dearka yelled, grimacing as Miriallia continued her assault, "Damn it, Miriallia! Calm down! You're not going to be able to do anything now; Kira's dying tomorrow! This isn't the time for you to act like some crazy idiot!"

The screeching ceased as soon as he had uttered his words. Her pale blue eyes stared at a spot on the painted wall, stoned with a fear crystallized in those orbs. Then, she collapsed weakly against Dearka, her eyes closed as she wept her torment. I watched as they slid to the ground slowly, their knees caving in under them.

"Kira's dying tomorrow… Kira's dying tomorrow…" Miriallia wailed repeatedly, latching herself to Dearka's shirt, her fingers clenching desperately around the material… seeking some kind of pristine comfort in her loved one…

My hand was clapped around my lips as I turned away, tears streaking down my cheeks. They were just words, but every single one of them was a dagger, slicing over open wounds in my heart… drowning me in pure anguish…

Returning my gaze to the painful sight, I caught Dearka's eyes. He stared at me for several minutes, before misery slid through those violet orbs and he dropped his gaze, burying his face in Miriallia's hair, mixing his tears with hers, his arms wrapping around her frail body, like a protective gesture, yet, there was desperation in it, like he was clutching onto a lifebuoy, the only thing that could save him from drowning…

§ ♥ §

I had seen many things during the Bloody Valentine Wars, met many people… each differing in their own way.

Yzak Joule was one of those who left distinct impressions in my mind… Always hot-headed and cold towards his friends, yet, he was a gentleman deep within… though he detested showing the slightest hint of the softness enclosed by the hard, conservative shell…

Ironic…

I had heard of the tales of their feud, when Kira had scarred Yzak's face and Yzak had sworn to kill Kira for it… When Yzak had shattered an entire shuttle filled with innocent civilians, the hatred became mutual… They were enemies, pure enemies, connected only by the deep core of loathing even though they had never set eyes on the other before…

And I remembered how they had finally seen their foe after the war… the familiar, caring gesture of Kira reaching out to shake the hand of an irate Yzak, the reluctance as he finally stretched out an unwilling hand, all the while glaring daggers at Kira…

Yet, through all those years, they had become friends. They truly cared for each other, and they shared one same dream: to keep the peace between Coordinators and Naturals alike.

And, as I stood in the hallway, watching the platinum-haired man, I realized just how deep their friendship had evolved from that odium.

I had never seen Yzak cry; he never did and even as I stared on, he didn't shed a single tear. But his eyes told me the turmoil of emotions in him. They were hard, blue eyes, glaring at a spot on the sheets of the bed where he sat, motionlessly. Nevertheless, behind those cold crystals, I could see a deep agony, a deep regret, which flickered past those orbs.

"Yzak…" A tentative whisper made me shift my gaze and I turned to glance at the brunette sitting silently in the corner of the room.

Kira had always mused about the incompatibility of Yzak Joule and Shiho Hahnenfuss. But, I recalled telling him opposites attract, and I believed that…

Shiho got to her feet slowly; in her nervous hands she held a tray of food. "Yzak, you haven't eaten anything since morning…" She froze in the middle of her sentence when Yzak shook his head slowly, his eyes never leaving what he has seeing.

"But…"

"I said no, alright!" His voice was harsh, but broken unintentionally by a violent sorrow. He tore his gaze away from the white sheets to glare at her.

Shiho fell back a step at his outburst but hurt took over surprise and she turned away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Her words never escaped her lips when she heard the sound.

A sound I never believed I would ever hear…

A sob which escaped the trembling lips of the young man…

I was staring at him in horrid surprise, but my shock could never match Shiho's. The tray clattered noisily on the table as she swept towards Yzak. Sob after sob shook his body as he hung his head, his hands brushing furiously at the tears.

Shiho drew him towards her, whispering endearments. A single track of tears trickled down her cheek…

Yzak never cried. He would never do something he felt was weak... Yet, as I watched him let loose emotions he, perhaps had never experienced before, it seemed to me that Kira had captured the hearts of everyone around him... He had melted the bitter, cold ice surrounding Yzak and he had broken through it, touching even the hardest heart...

That's why, I had fallen so easily for him... My heart was all his to have... And that's also why, I knew I could never forget this pain because he would take a part of my heart, a part of my life, a part of me with him when he was gone...

When I could finally tear my eyes away from the poignant image, they met those of Ezalia Joule. She stood at the end of the corridor, watching me, sympathy in her eyes. The words which came were soft and gentle, "Kira Yamato was a good man… I'm sorry…"

_Author's note: Hmm, I realize I'm getting quite long-winded. But anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this part of Chapter 8. I'll upload the second part soon. Please review and tell me how you feel about this. You can also tell me if I should write the second part of this chapter. I won't write the second part if you don't like it. So please, please review…_


	9. The Breaking Hearts Around You: Part II

_Author's note: Whew! Finally, the long-awaited chapter. Firstly, I apologize for the long wait. And of course, I must thank you all for your patience and understanding. This chapter is the continuation of Chapter 8. Characters included in this chapter are: Shinn, the orphanage children, Haruma, Caridad, Mu, Murrue, Reverend Malchio and Cagalli. The purpose of this chapter and the previous one was to sum up most of the characters that were present for the meeting in chapter 7. However, due to insufficient time and too lengthy descriptions, I have concentrated on more important characters. Feel free to let me know if you would like me to list out all the characters that were at the meeting._

_Before we begin, I would like to thank several readers: __The WayFarer 2000__ (I'm really glad that you enjoyed this story and the scene with Torii. I just felt that Torii had a rather significant role in the relationship between Athrun and Kira! Really happy to know you liked it!), __Zero'N'oveR __(Thank you for the compliment, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I apologize for taking so much time to update.), __Raven__ (Hello, I'm glad you liked the story. Hope to hear from you soon!), ____ (Thank you so much for your review, I'm seriously happy to hear that you liked it so much! Thanks for waiting for the next chapter.), __Orgoth225 __(Oh, hello! Glad you decided to be a member. I really hope to hear from you soon and thanks for the review!), __snowdrop.tears __(also known as personal friend!!! Finally, the next chapter's up. So don't nag at me anymore, okay:D I've been trying to change what you've commented on. And as for my style, I didn't actually feel it changing. Is it really different!?), __revenantangel94__ (Oh, I'm so sorry I took so long and I apologize for any inconvenience caused. Thanks for you review and I hope you like this chapter too!), __silvermoon8573__ (Well, I'm glad we have rather similar ideas. And I'm sorry if you think I'm torturing Kira too much. I promise I won't do that too much!), __LuciouscandY1594__ (Hmm. I actually plan to have a whole chapter on Kira's thoughts after I'm done with this story. You know, like additional bonus chapters because I can't really fit it into Lacus' point of view. Hope you can take some time off to read that. Glad you like the story!), __purple kimono__ (I'm glad you liked it so much but I hope I didn't upset you too much… If so, I'm really sorry. Hope to hear from you soon.) and __scent of white plum__ (I wouldn't say the ending is totally sad or happy. But I can't give it away, can I? Hope you will read to the end and thank you for your review!)_

_And let's not forget the readers who replied me when I wrote the author's note and I would like to really thank them for their support: __Zero'N'oveR , snowdrop.tears, revenantangel94__ and __blueflamesofsadness__ (I'm really glad you like this story and yes, Kira can be considered as terminal. Hope to hear from you soon.)_

_Lastly, I would like to thank __askani16 __specially. I received a lot of help from askani16 when I was writing this chapter, so thank you very much. This is a special dedication to askani16! Cheers!_

_Now, shall we get on with the story?_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

Time had never been so precious to me.

Every minute, every second that passed only reminded me of the little time he had left, and the agony that ate me alive flared up until I longed to scream and run.

That was all I wanted to do – to run endlessly, aimlessly…

Because, for once, intense fear had replaced my longing and regret.

When Kira had captured my heart the way he had first caught my hand as I drifted from the shuttle, I fought desperately by his side, hoping to end the war and keep him safe for the beautiful future I knew we had grasped tightly in our palms.

I sang the song of peace.

Yet, this wasn't it… this wasn't what we had earned, wasn't what we had expected. Not this pain, sorrow or agony…

I wished time would turn back to those three years which had faded into nothing but a hazy memory hidden far and deep inside me. So distant that it seemed like a mere illusion, so unfamiliar that it probably couldn't have happened at all… But that happens to memories, isn't it? Time never stops; joy, pleasure, delight and laughter become sheer memories… vivid in the beginning, but they'll slowly fade into a thread of dreams until they disappear with the person embracing these reminiscences…

How could I ever forget him?

What should I do? What would I be in the many lonely years destined to come? Where would I be without him? How could I even live when the one whom I had given up my heart to was about to leave forever?

He was always seeking the right answers to questions that had never seemed solvable. And now, I was struggling through the shadows, searching for the reason as to why I was slowly extinguishing his life… Was I really protecting him?

Or hurting him?

I was so tired of the life I was forced to lead. Would it be alright if I just lay by his side and drifted off into an everlasting dream, holding that warm hand I missed? If reality was so harsh, so implacable, would it be alright if we existed in dreams, safely kept away from the truth of life?

I wished to, I wanted to…

But he would never have allowed me to do that, not when he had fought so hard to keep me alive. And yet, I was throwing away his life which he had struggled equally hard to protect.

Would you hate me, my Kira?

§ ♥ §

It came softly at first, but as I neared his door, it grew louder. A voice so familiar, yet so strange to me in the silence…

"_Hi, Mayu here. Sorry, can't talk to you right now. I'll call you back later. Please leave your name after the beep…"_

Cautiously, I peered behind his door and saw him lying on his bed, an arm under his head. There was no surprise when I noticed his room shrouded in darkness like every other room in the Orb Mansion…

I watched silently as he gazed at the pink cell phone he held in his left hand, twirling it around slowly. Then, he flicked it open again.

"_Hi, Mayu here. Sorry, can't talk to you right now. I'll call you back later. Please leave your name after the beep…"_

The dim light from the cell phone lit up his face and I noticed the shiny trails of tears that ran down his cheeks.

He was not much different from Kira, was he?

He was just another soul broken by the turmoil of war. A wonderful family blown to bits by gunfire… Both he and Kira would never forget the horror of war that was etched deeply into their hearts and minds.

But the reassuring hand that stretched out to him, and the words Kira had said…

_No matter how many times it's blown away, we will replant the flowers once again…For sure…_

They had delivered a seed of hope into the darkness of Shinn's heart. And with it, Kira had gained Shinn's respect and loyalty.

Shinn had begun to call Orb his home; he accepted his place in our family as we lived in the Orb Mansion. But he was soon to lose a member of his family again, one whom he had been close to…

The cell phone closed with a resounding clap.

He drew it close to his chest, curling up into a tight ball… as though he was yearning to hide from the pain and agony.

The tears began their torment again…

§ ♥ §

The room was dimly lit, the lamp on the dresser casting an affectionate, warm glow which took away none of the chill. I hadn't expected any of them to be asleep and I was right…

They sat huddled close together for comfort on the large bed and they turned around as the door of their room opened and a sliver of light fell across their bed in a wavering line.

"Aunt Lacus…" His voice was hoarse when he parted his dry lips to speak and it trailed off into despaired silence. I glanced at the dozen small tear-stained faces staring up at me, each praying for that little relief from the pain that brewed in their young hearts, pain that wasn't for children this young and innocent to bear.

And he was just like them. So innocent, so pure, so naïve… he needed none of this to taint him.

I shifted my gaze to their tiny chubby arms, crossed over their chests protectively, each clutching an item close to their heart. And slowly, I recognized each item. The doll, the train, the book, the bunny, the color pencils, the beautiful pink dress, the musical box… Every object had been a gift from Kira - the very last gift he had given them before he lay confined within the white walls.

Slowly, I approached the bed and settled down between the children, stretching out an arm, hoping it would provide any comfort. Even the littlest reassurance I could muster would be a relief to their battered hearts…

They clung to me the moment they could reach me, their little hands hugging me as though I was the only thing that could keep them from drowning in the raging dark sea of grief.

But they were too young to understand that even I could not save myself…

And as I cuddled them close to me, cradling small bodies in my arms, I couldn't help but bury my face in their soft hair and cry as they too broke down. Their silent weeping had changed into painful sobs that made my heart ache.

"I don't want Uncle Kira to go…" the little darling by my side whispered, cuddling closer. The other orphans whimpered, curling up and embracing their precious presents tightly to their chests.

I didn't know what to do, what to say… and I could only caress their wet cheeks, murmuring soft endearments to them as I led them each back to their place and tugged the quilt around them, watching as they curled up instinctively the moment they left the warmth of my arms.

I gazed at their trembling forms by the door, unable to say anything but "Ssh, sleep now. We'll see Uncle Kira tomorrow…"

"Aunt Lacus," the tentative murmur made me turn around. The young girl was gazing up at me with large, tearful brown eyes and the children around her were staring up at me. I knew I hadn't taken away any agony from their hearts…

"Can we call Uncle Kira 'Daddy'?"

The question surprised me, but I saw the depth of their love for the young man who had treated them like his children.

"Of course," I muttered gently, forcing a weak smile, "he would have loved to hear all of you call him that…"

And as I closed the door, tears had begun to fall again but I didn't have the strength to wipe them away.

I knew he really would have loved it…

§ ♥ §

Who exactly are parents? Are they those who create you, and give you life? Or are they those who raise you, teach you, protect you… never asking for anything in return except your wellbeing, happiness and delight?

Fate had never really meant them to be a family, but somehow, he was calling them 'his parents' and referring to them as his 'family'… And I guess, it was right - it wasn't just some soft of wishful thinking on his part.

Because the perfect parents aren't just connected to the child by genes… It's the feelings and emotions nurtured over time, and the little fragments of wisdom passed on with the sole hope to guide the child and keep it safe. And that had managed to form an aching homesickness for a couple he knew, a couple he called 'Mum' and 'Dad' even though he knew that they were never supposed to be his parents…

Parents were just so simple. They were the ones who promised not to worry about you when you told them not to, but deep inside, their heart longed for you to stay safe, to be with you and stay a step behind to catch you when you fall, and to cradle you like when you were a child, but this time, to soothe away any pain and sorrow they knew would be unleashed as you took each step in a life that can never escape agony's clutches…

Isn't that right?

That was why she held each item she took in her hands so close to her breast, letting her tears fall on their surfaces, then smoothing at them unnecessarily with her quivering fingers.

Just to feel closer to Kira one last time…

I stood in the dark shadows behind their door, peering into the silent room through the narrow seam… watching sadly, knowing I was the cause of their grief… all because I was the one who had somehow decided the fate of their precious son, twisting his life between my fingers as though it were some puppet I could manipulate, a puppet whose strings I would cut when I wanted to…

But I was trying to protect him, wasn't I? I never wanted to hurt him. But somehow, it didn't seem right that I was being so selfish…

Kira's belongings lay strewn across their bed, everything he had once touched repeatedly caressed as Caridad sorted through them, and Haruma, with tender, gentle fingers he had used to stroke his son's cheek, folded his clothes into neat piles to be stowed away at the back of the cupboard, away from eyes forever…

Yet, I couldn't bear to let them go. Because every item stowed away meant a part of his life slipping away, just like every single minute that passed. And I ran my eyes over them desperately, seeking the fond memories they brought, until I could no longer see from unshed tears.

The little notebook he carried with him to every meeting, filled with his many tidy scribbles…

The wallet in which he kept a miniature portrait of our family…

The stacks of files he brought home every night…

The medal he had received for his bravery in the Bloody Valentine Wars…

Every single item a part of his life, every item kept away in the large box, every item reminding me of the pain that dug deep into my soul…

And I knew this was truly the end.

We had never touched Kira's belongings in six years; Mana cleaned his room everyday like he was home.

Because we had believed that he would one day step into the doorway of the Orb Mansion again. Whether it was a day, a week, a month, or a year… we said we would wait for him and we chose to believe that we would hear his laughter again. How could he not, when he had made it through two wars? When he had returned to me every time, just as he had promised to.

I knew he would fight till the very end. Because he was Kira Yamato.

And that was why we had never asked him if he wanted to leave and neither did he tell us he wished to. Maybe, even he thought he would leave those white walls and floors someday…

Yet, six years later, we felt it was time.

But Kira… If I had asked you, would you agree? Would you think us selfish for ever asking you that question? Were you ready to release those tender fingers that were grasped tightly around the world and the lives you had fought to save?

Were you ready to… die?

Your life didn't come by easily, Kira – since you had stepped onto that battlefield, every minute had been used to save your friends, to save yourself. I wonder how hard you grasped those controls when you were alone in that cockpit; how fast you pushed those buttons that would somehow determine if you would be the survivor of each battle; how much time did you spend to upgrade those machines that were meant to fight but keep you safe?

Yet, you couldn't enjoy what you had fought so hard to achieve. You had to suffer for everything you had done for us…

So now, we were actually taking apart your things… your life…

Caridad reached out slowly to the drawer she had extracted from Kira's writing desk earlier in the day. Her trembling fingers froze within its depths before she picked up a delicate wooden chest which she sat on her lap gently, running her fingers over its surface.

I had seen few of its kind. Even from a distance away, I could see the elegance of the little chest with intricate carvings all along its side and tiny engravings which I couldn't read on its lid. But I never knew that Kira had possession of such a treasure.

Caridad turned it over gently, exploring each ridge and curve with her fingers until they paused at the delicate engravings on the lid. "Family…" She whispered softly, her voice slightly cracked from misery as her fingers stroked the faint words lightly. She shifted her attention to the metal clasp and flicked it up, lifting the lid; her actions slow, as though she was too exhausted from all the agony and despair.

I couldn't see what was inside but as she reached in, she pulled out a silver chain with a pretty silver band.

I fell back a step as the familiarity of the sight sliced through my light-headedness, making me gasp softly at the intrusion of the memory and the unexpected appearance of that trinket.

That silver band… I knew it so well.

It felt like a memory from so long ago, hidden beneath the thick blanket of six years' sorrow and agony. Yet, I would never ever forget it.

That warm hand under mine as I pushed the silver ring into his palm… Those words filled with hope that had slipped from my lips – _Come back… Come back to me…_ That promise, sealed with the kiss as he pressed his lips to my cheek…

I sagged against the wall, my legs weak from the surprise of seeing that distant object of the past appearing.

_Come back to me…_

I was crying hard, allowing my tears to drip on the floor endlessly, like a broken string of pearls that could never be threaded back together again. He had come back to me then, fulfilled his promise like he always had. He had brought back that ring with him too, nestled against his chest as it hung around the silver chain around his neck.

I longed to hold his hand, ask him not to go, to hold on tightly to the life that was slipping away… to come back to me…

Would it help? Would it make him stay? He had returned as he had once promised to, hadn't he? So, would he live because I wanted him to?

No, that wasn't what I wanted, was it? I wished to protect him, I promised not to let him suffer again. So I couldn't…

Yet, I clung on to those words desperately, like clutching a handful of sand, struggling to hold them all in my hands.

_Come back to me…_

_Come back to me…_

_Please…_

§ ♥ §

I had never remembered the garden ever being so quiet or unfamiliar…

In the darkest, coldest night, it was always a haven in which the entire household would retreat to after work, when we sat huddled around the stone fountain, talking, laughing… sharing the deepest secrets we held hidden in our hearts…

I remembered the sweet smell that always stayed lingering in the air - the fragrance of Mana's roses and daisies, interweaving with the scent of the night's fresh grass. And there was the peaceful gurgling as crystal-clear water bubbled in the basin, mixed with the heart-warming laughter of post-war veterans, as we enjoyed every moment of the peace we had fought so hard to achieve…

Yet, I wondered if we would ever hear it again. Maybe this haven of ours would stay frozen in silence forever…

The night sky was dark and starless… a black cloak tossed over the entire world. No wind rustled the leaves; the night creatures were silent; none of the old joy could be heard, and with each step, my feet made no sound on the hard concrete …

My fingers felt numb on the cold granite of the fountain basin. Slowly, I drew my hand across the rim, feeling the rough stone beneath my palm, watching the water ripple, my reflection distorting slightly. But the water remained rather still; the stone statue of the angel had stopped sprouting water from the urn she held. Leaves and flower petals had drifted into the pool and they swirled around in the cool water.

So forlorn and desolated…

It must have been ages ago when I had stepped into the garden with his warm hand in mine. And perhaps I never would feel that again…

I turned and returned the way I had come.

The Orb Mansion in the distance was silent and the warm lights that glowed in the numerous windows that ran along the walls of the lit corridors seemed to make the entire house glisten in the otherwise dark night. It seemed so inviting, so welcoming… yet, without him, it hadn't been home…

They were silhouetted against the light of their room on the second floor, leaning against their balcony railing as they stared out at the world. The world they had both fought hard to obtain; the world Kira had struggled to gain…

Love's a strange thing. It's so divine, so precious, so pure… yet it obscures our hearts sometimes, making us love a person no matter what he or she becomes, no matter how much time passes, no matter how painful love can be…

She understood this pain, didn't she? She had once lost Mu in the first war, only to find him again in the second. But still, she should know the agony of losing one's love, shouldn't she?

Or maybe, it hadn't hurt this much. Because when Mu had sacrificed himself, the pain came mercilessly, tearing itself through her soul in that split second, and as time passes, the agony dulls but it never leaves, buried somewhere deep inside. And as for me, I was done with six years of misery and woe…

I gazed up at them, huddled together in each other's arms. Their soft sobbing drifted down towards me like a dark, heavy blanket.

But they had each other.

While I… had no one…

§ ♥ §

I wandered unfeelingly between the neatly trimmed hedges, noticing none of the pink roses which adorned the emerald leaves.

It was the hint of brown and the still figure hidden behind the small vine-covered gazebo that caught my attention and I halted rather reluctantly. I saw him in the middle of the small field of daffodils, his back to me, his eyes facing the dark sky, but I knew he saw nothing.

A blind man lives in a world of darkness…

I tried to make my way past him without him noticing me. I couldn't bear looking at another person, because all I would see was just grief, and they would tell me how much they regretted this, and what they wished they could do to make it up to him…

Their words could never take away the sorrow; I could only watch weakly as my soul strained to keep the emotions in control…

I wanted to make Kira happy too, but what deceit was this? How could I be promising not to hurt him, when I was lying to him, feigning ignorance as we secretly arranged his last day so everyone he knew could see him, but we wouldn't allow him to see them for the last time, perhaps he wouldn't ever know what we were planning as he slowly slipped off into a deep slumber…

Was this selfishness?

Before I could reach the front doors, he had already noted my presence. If I hadn't felt like my life was being torn from my body, I would have giggled at the game we seemed to be playing and at how forgetful I was to disregard his sharper senses…

"Miss Lacus..." His head turned slightly in my direction, "Is that you?"

I licked my dry lips, "Yes, Reverend Malchio…"

"Thinking about something?" He murmured, turning slowly to face me. I didn't reply and he acknowledged my silence.

"Confused, is it?" A gentle smile quirked at his lips. He paused, lifting his head towards the dark sky as he took in a deep breath. "Mana's flowers used to smell so nice…"

"Life is something so complicated and yet so simple, don't you agree?" He smiled gently, tilting his head up to the heavens. Then, raised a hand slowly and pointed at the dark sky.

"Life is like… a star, and every single star hanging in the night sky is a person, yes? There must be billions of them hanging in this beautiful night sky," he sighed softly, his blind eyes facing the dark cover of the night.

I raised my head and stared up into the starless black cloak. Stars… Those beautiful twinkling jewels which stayed nestled in the warmth of their dark veil? Not on a sorrowful night like this. Maybe, even they knew he would soon be gone, maybe they understood the pain of losing a pilot who had once soared through the skies in the Strike Freedom… Maybe, they knew that the Strike Freedom would never float amidst them ever again, because its soul would forever fade away.

I didn't tell him that he was wrong, that the majestic image he had painted in his mind was not real, was not going to happen anytime tonight.

After all, everyone deserved to have their own dreams and their special something to believe in, even if it was just false hope… Couldn't we live in our dreams; where at least there was something to trust in, where we could hide from the harshness of the truth? Besides, those six years hadn't been reality, it was just a fantasy driven and fueled with optimism that wasn't even strong enough to support all of us till the end.

Just how long did we think we could hang on? And how long did we think Kira could hang on?

Those were just bleak hopes in an equally artificial fantasy. But six years were enough… I would snap soon and we had been constantly driving Kira onwards, with those hopeless dreams that he would recover. It was time to end his torment…

"You see the stars in the sky, don't you, Miss Lacus?" Reverend Malchio whispered, gesturing at the sky. "Sometimes you don't have to see it with your eyes," he added softly, when I didn't reply, "It is much clearer to see with your heart." I glanced at his face silently, his features pale under the moonlight.

To see with my heart?

It was so clouded with pain, fear and regret. There would be nothing to see, but a hollow aching darkness that crushed down on me.

He lowered his head and turned in my direction, as though he could tell what I was thinking and urging me on. Slowly, hesitantly, I looked towards the skies and closed my eyes. Tried to will away the frightening darkness…

Nothing… I saw no stars; nothing…

But I parted my dry lips and murmured a quiet 'Yes, Reverend Malchio. I see them…' He smiled and turned back to the heavens.

"Isn't it beautiful? To be one of those glittering orbs in heaven amidst the many. And as we look down from the warm blankets of darkness, there are hundreds more surrounding us, each one a different person we meet in our life." He breathed a contented sigh.

"Some will always stay by our side, in that same position," He continued, "While others are like the shooting star, that streaks past you and you might never meet them again…"

"But stars will never burn forever, will they? Eventually, someday, sometime, they will burn for the last time and die out."

He turned to me again, smiling gently. "When large stars near the end of their lifespan, they can no longer support their own mass and its core suddenly collapses. The shockwave formed by its sudden collapse causes the star to explode in a supernova." He sighed contentedly, "Supernovae are beautiful. They're so bright they can outshine the star's entire home galaxy. Can you imagine how pretty it must be?"

I looked away even though I knew he couldn't see into my eyes. I understood where he was heading, and the raw remains of my heart were being torn apart once more. Those familiar tears began streaming down my cheeks again, but I made no attempt to brush them away.

The Reverend raised his head again, a light hint of his smile returning again. "Mr. Yamato's star has always been the brightest." Then, his grief set in again. "I really do hope to see his last display of light. I am sure that it would color the skies in the most beautiful hues… Don't you agree, Miss Lacus?"

Once again, my voice remained caught in my throat. I raised my head to look at the piece of dark sky he would have been watching if he could see and I was rendered speechless.

There, within the dark covers of the night, laid a single star, peering down at the earth, its bright light standing out sharply against the black and it twinkled… like eyes that seemed to guard the people underneath.

I turned abruptly and headed back towards the Orb Mansion, every inch of me screaming inside, dying to collapse on my bed and forget everything Reverend Malchio had said to me… because I recognized the truth behind it, and all along I had believed it until Kira had been the victim…

"Good night, Miss Lacus…" He muttered as I walked away, a slow, uneasy step at a time.

One step, two steps… And then, I had broken into a run, crashing through the front door and closing it behind me dazedly. I stood leaning against the dark, smooth wood for a minute, before my knees caved under me and I slid to the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees as I cried.

§ ♥ §

I was approaching the lounge in my daze, my feet dragging slowly across the cold parquet floor. A step at a time, bringing me closer to the glowing light at the glass door…

The tears had dried and they left tracks upon my cheeks; the agony hidden deep inside had somehow faded to a throbbing pain that left me floating between reality, dreams and illusions. The box in which I had callously stowed all my feelings in had slit open and my emotions drifted out little by little...

An occasional memory... A sudden slash of painful regret...

Until I couldn't tell if I was alive, dead or somewhere in between...

I paused outside the dark lounge to glance into the dim room with its drawn curtains, the only light came from the screen embedded in the wall and through it, I saw him - lying on that hospital bed, his violet eyes closed from exhaustion and pain.

The sight blazed through my soul and I couldn't feel the painful tears welling in my eyes, or the numbness that had escalated through my body.

Hesitantly, I reached out to the silver handle when it was within the reach of my feeble hands and grasping it, I hauled myself into the doorway, unable to tear my eyes away from his pale face.

He looked so innocent, so chaste and ignorant… so angelic... It was as though he was merely sleeping, bathing in the pleasure of delightful dreams just like how he had always looked when he laid in the soft, warm covers of his own bed.

And I could no longer feel my feet step forward as my soul deluged with the desire to touch him, to feel him. A faint smile attempted to curl my dry, parched lips…

"You can't sleep either, can you?"

The voice ripped me harshly from a beautiful world of fantasies and that weak smile left instantly as the truth came back to me relentlessly. The brutal truth that lay hidden in unsympathetic reality…

She was there, huddled in the farthest corner of the sofa, her knees drawn up to her chest, teary eyes watching me silently. I looked away, unable to stare into the intensity of those sorrowful, golden orbs.

"Well, neither can I…" She whispered softly.

Tottering unsteadily, I backed towards the sofa and sank into it beside her, keeping my sight fixed on the screen, allowing the heartrending image presented in it to send wrenches of agony jolting through me.

We suffused in pure silence for a while, both pairs of eyes staring at Kira with intense affection. One boy with a true heart, who grew up to be a charming man… the last person I could really call husband… the last person she could really call brother…

"You know," She murmured, breaking the stillness for the first time in minutes, "The first time I met him, I felt he was the thickest blockhead I had ever met. He couldn't tell if I was a girl or a boy, and he tried to save me, a stranger he didn't even know," She smiled faintly, her golden eyes glazed over with unshed tears, "He dumped me at the nearest evacuation point while he himself had to run across the battlefield to the other evacuation point. He was just so stupid!" She chuckled softly.

I gazed down at the cold wooden floorboards, my mind slowly registering her words.

_The first time I met him... _

The first time I met him, he was just a broken soul drifting amongst the hatred of war, helplessly twirled into the brutal dance of conflict and hostilities… But that was a long time ago, wasn't it?

He would never suffer the pain of war again, or the agony of suffering either. He would leave this malicious world tomorrow, just as we had planned, just as we had hoped he would, because I swore I would not let you suffer again.

"You must be wondering why I'm thinking about all these."

I shifted my gaze to her face, partially shielded by her disheveled blond hair. A soft tender smile played across her pale lips as she watched her dozing brother with eyes filled with affection.

"I guess, when the end approaches, one starts thinking about the beginning..." She whispered softly.

Calm silence drowned us once again.

"Don't you think we're so different? Even our looks contrast. And to think we're from the same parents…" she murmured suddenly, smiling giddily. "I must have labeled him nearly all the despicable names on earth. Moron, jerk, jackass… But I'm so glad we met; I'm so proud to say that my brother is Kira Yamato." She continued gazing at Kira for several more minutes, seemingly indulging in the wonderful memories of the past she had raked up.

Then, her faint smile weakened as she parted her lips to speak again. "I've nearly lost him so many times. Every battle, I worry about not seeing him again, or going home without him by my side." A single sparkling crystal slid down her left cheek, trailing over dried tears.

"I couldn't believe Athrun had killed him… I couldn't believe he had died after all he had been through. Kira took too many risks, didn't always know what he was doing and always cried. But he was kind, he was nice; he deserves none of these." Her voice cracked with emotion, "So many times he freaked me out. I don't know what would have happened to me if he had died. But tomorrow, it's over, isn't it?"

I wanted to reply but the rasping noise emitted from the speakers made us both raise our eyes to stare at the screen, distracted.

He had awakened, his lean, muscled body donned in a sheen of sweat. Every time he shifted, the white sheets clung to him, wrapping themselves around him tightly, as though trying to pull him into darkness… into nothingness… Brown hair matted on the white pillow, framing his little face in a tangled mess of sweat-drenched tresses.

I clutched a hand to my mouth as the tears fell unstoppably. I didn't notice that Cagalli had too begun to cry, until both our painful sobs had merged into a wave of sorrow and agony.

Everything around Kira was supposed to be pure and innocent. Pain and agony wasn't… They tainted him… He never was supposed to be in there, never was supposed to be exposed to the stabbing pain. He belonged with us; he had the right to live a life without this torment…

But…

I was running, fleeing from the room as I tore down the corridor. Running endlessly, aimlessly, just as I wanted to. But it didn't help; every step couldn't take away the anguish.

It hurt so much, so bad that even when I crashed to the hard wooden flooring, it didn't matter, because I was being torn up inside…

_Author's note: That's all, I hope this chapter has met your expectations. The next chapter should be ready within a week or two. I hope all of you enjoyed this chapter. Please drop me a review, I would really appreciate it! Criticisms are welcomed too. But I really do hope all of you liked it. And lastly, let me thank all of you for reading this story and the readers who have supported me for so long. I really feel fortunate to have readers like you! Thank you so much! Remember to review!_


	10. Nothing Else Matters Except For You

_Author's note: Hey there! Firstly, I would like to wish everyone a Merry, merry Christmas! May all your wishes come true! (And a happy new year!)_

_I really must apologize for not updating for such a long time. 2 weeks, to be exact. I'm so terribly sorry!!! I never expected that I would take such a long time._

_And of course, I must thank: __askani16__ (Thanks so much for the compliment and once again, I'm grateful for your help), __Chopstxx24__ (I'm really glad you enjoyed it, but I hope it wasn't too sad, was it?), __Orgoth225__ (I'm really happy that you loved it so much. But you flatter me. Seriously, I'm afraid I can't be a professional author!) and lastly, __mystice__ (I'm glad to hear that you like it. Hope to hear from you soon!)_

_Forgive me if you think I have too much to say, but I'll like to make a short announcement before we begin the story:_

**This fan-fiction will soon be coming to an end. I wish to create an ending everyone will enjoy, so I have created a poll which you can find on my profile. I do hope all of you can take some time off to vote. The results ****may**** influence the ending but I will not depend on it totally.**

_Now, I shall not nag anymore. On with the story and Merry Christmas!!!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters…_

The tears had stopped falling.

The grasping claws of agony had been ruthlessly dragged into the farthest, darkest corner of my soul where I kept them hidden away, a swirling darkness of regret, pain and grief…

How long would I be able to keep them there? I didn't know, I didn't care.

There was nothing between the raging emotions and the brewing numbness which had taken their place. I couldn't allow myself to drown in pain's depths… at least not now, when I had to be brave, to be strong. But later… when everything was finally over, it wouldn't matter how much it hurt.

That numbness felt so good – there was no need to think, no need to feel, no need to hurt. It was like drifting in a quiet peace that brushed across the surface of my soul, like the tender hands and lips that had once caressed my cheek…

Nothing seemed like a part of reality.

The hum of the convertible's engine and the chattering on the streets blended into the fog of illusions; the gentle bumping motion of the vehicle lulled me into a strange, tranquil calmness; the light blue sky which had taken the place of the retractable hood above my head seemed like a blanket of pretty dreams I couldn't reach; the scenery I was staring at outside, streamed past like a video fast-forwarded, flowing endlessly… aimlessly.

Slowly, the convertible came to a halt at the traffic junction.

Athrun bent forward, leaning his brow against the steering wheel, his features shielded by his midnight hair. Beside him, Cagalli fidgeted gratuitously.

I turned away, peering at the streets and shops, watching as life went on. A couple, hand-in-hand, strolling past the shop windows. A giggling child pulled along by a dog. A pair of siblings racing down the street. A group of girls talking…

All of that innocent laughter and joy.

My heart seemed to have come to a standstill; deep inside, I was dead. But it didn't matter, because life would go on, even without me… or him…

They never would know, would they?

They never would understand the terror of being surrounded by enemies, or the guilt of blowing up the opponent's cockpit, knowing the pilot inside was just another individual trapped in the claws of warfare, screaming as flames engulfed him, knowing he would never see his family or friends again…

How could they understand the pain and agony Kira had once gone through, just because he wanted to save all that he treasured and believed in?

They knew his name, once upon a time.

Kira Yamato: the Ultimate Coordinator, a high ranking officer of ZAFT; the supposed fiancé of the Chairlady of PLANTS; the brother of the Representative of Orb; an astounding pilot of the Strike Freedom…

But was that what he wanted?

To be remembered for his participation in the war? To be special because he _was_ the Ultimate Coordinator?

They weren't aware that under the kind, intelligent military officer, was a young boy who had once cried for the people he killed, who had understood what we were to fight for, who had lost so much for us...

I knew he wouldn't have wanted a part in all of it. But now that he had, he would commit anything to protect the future. He would never be able to enjoy the simple life he had thought he could have, so he would contribute to the future instead. And yet, everything had become worst.

I didn't know how many people out there on the streets remembered him, or had forgotten him. To them, he was someone who had fallen prey to his own body and for six years, no one had heard or seen him. Perhaps, he would slip away from people's minds as time went by.

But that didn't matter… because, in the end, they didn't know he was leaving the world he had protected.

The circle of red light changed into green and the convertible began to move as we headed for the hospital.

The streets and people began to blur again, until I felt loneliness and detachment swallow my insides.

But that didn't matter…

§ ♥ §

This would be the last time I walked past those white walls again, wouldn't it?

He would never come back, and neither would I. In several hours, this whole nightmare would be over, only to be replaced by another. But it didn't matter… He would be safe and far from any agony, tugged in the warm blankets of heaven and the tender, loving hands of those waiting for him among the stars. That paradise, drifting above the clouds, was what he deserved most, wasn't it? He would never feel a stab of pain again. Never… Just like I said, I would not let you suffer again.

So, nothing mattered, except keeping you contented…

The 7th level of the hospital was just like how it always was, silent and desolated, except for the lone reception counter across from the elevator and the nurse sitting behind it. But it was expected…

To keep Kira safe from curious, prying eyes, we had no choice but to arrange for him to be kept in a place where no one else would harass him because he was 'different'. No one else visited the 7th level of the hospital, where only a single patient lay in bed, suffering unnecessarily.

Sandra lifted her head to glance over the counter at us, when the elevator doors slid open. "Hi," She smiled, "Doctor Chloe told me you would come today."

I nodded, managing a weak smile. "May I see Doctor Chloe?" I asked softly.

She pointed at the floor beneath her, smiling. "Doctor Chloe is downstairs, in the Medical Research Department. She's been down there for days." Gloom came over her features. "She's struggling so desperately to find a cure for Mr. Yamato, that she's been skipping meals and sleep." Then Sandra gestured towards the deserted corridor that led to a single room, "Are you really taking Mr. Yamato out of the hospital?"

I nodded guiltily, staring at some point on the white floors.

"Oh, he won't be coming back, will he?" She murmured, her eyes too seeking the ground. I didn't reply. There was silence for a minute, until she smiled distractedly, "Well then, I'll go tell her you've arrived." She pushed herself out of her chair and moved towards the elevator slowly.

As the doors closed, I caught a glimpse of her brushing tears from her eyes…

We stood there in uncomfortable silence, for what seemed like ages before the sound of opening elevator doors made us turn.

Chloe emerged from the elevator, her head bowed; Sandra followed close behind.

"Are you here to pick him up?" Chloe muttered, her voice weary and bitter. I tried to speak but my own voice had failed me and I could only nod, unable to look at the sad, tired eyes and the pale face. She bit her lower lip hard, casting her azure-blue eyes away to gaze at the floor. "Sandra will arrange for it then; one of you'll have to go with her to the first level to settle the paperwork," She whispered, beckoning to the silent nurse by her side before she turned slowly and shuffled towards Kira's room. "I'll… I'll get Kira ready…"

My eyes met those of Sandra's for a brief moment and she glanced at me woefully, moving away to the elevator as Athrun trailed after her, every slow step displaying pain and regret.

A mild tug at my sleeve made me return my gaze to the retreating back of Chloe. "Come on," Cagalli murmured softly. The hand she used to grasp mine felt icy-cold and it burned through me, so numbing that I could not feel each step as I followed.

§ ♥ §

The room held a heavy veil of silence, broken only by the soft, constant beeps emitting from the cardiac monitor. Light slipped through the window binds in slender, faltering lines that wavered across the edge of the white bed and the still body wrapped in blankets.

There was no difference in him – no tinge of red in his pale cheeks, no wetness on his parched lips, no movement in his body… Every wire and apparatus that had once been connected to him was still there, and there were more from the last time I had visited. Yet, he was just the same: frail, thin and vulnerable.

I slid into the single chair by his bedside and merely sat staring at him, slowly allowing my gaze to travel across his sleeping features. It didn't matter that he looked sickly, he still seemed all beautiful, innocent and sweet… and I knew he would look equally charming when he closed his eyes for the last time.

I bent close, placed a gentle hand on his brow and softly murmured, "Kira…"

His beautiful amethyst eyes opened slowly, like deep pools of lavender which led far into his soul. They seemed distant for a moment, confused by the large doses of medications coursing through his blood, before they gradually filled with that strange joy he had in him whenever he saw us. His dry, cracked lips parted in a tentative smile, hindered slightly by the oxygen mask. I could only mirror it as I brushed the unruly locks of hair tenderly.

His fingers twitched by his side and he tried to raise his right hand but it was a poor, feeble attempt and my heart ached as I watched his weak muscles shudder from the effort. I placed mine over his, guiding it to my cheek. The gesture felt so affectionate; so right as compared to the stabbing coldness of his palm and the pulse oximeter clipped firmly to his fingertip.

A surge of warmth brushed against the numb, dormant corner of my soul where I had relentlessly hidden all my feelings. How could I bear to let him go?

"Hi…" His voice trembled, his speech slightly slurred from disuse.

"Hi," I murmured, unable to hide the hesitation and fear from my voice.

He reached towards the oxygen mask with his other hand and slid it down laboriously, granting me one of his gentle smiles. A bubble of fiery pain swelled in me and I fought to swallow it down, forcing my dry lips to smile as I watched his gaze shift to Cagalli and Chloe.

"D-Doctor Chloe…" He mumbled faintly in greeting, smiling slightly. Then, he stretched out his hand towards Cagalli, his arm muscles quivering until Cagalli took his palm in both hands and brought it to her lips, kissing his fingers lovingly. "Hey, _little_ bro," She laughed, tousling his hair fondly, the gloom in her golden eyes contrasting badly with the strained delight.

Kira closed his eyes, savoring the small reunion, whilst I caressed the hand he placed on my cheek with guilty pleasure, wishing I could stay like this forever.

He remained still, eyes shut for quite a while, the smile still etched across his lips... until a foolish, bewildering thought of him leaving made panic choke me and I hastily touched his cold cheek.

Those enchanting amethyst orbs opened once again to gaze at me. Thankful tears pricked at the back of my blue-gray eyes but I bit them back, allowing relief to sweep over my soul in gentle rolling waves.

His thumb brushed my cheek affectionately, tearing me from my reverie. I smiled, pressing my lips to his palm.

"We're taking you out for a while," I said, touching his shoulder, "You'll like that, won't you?" Some part of my mind realized that it was a lie. We were taking him out, but he wouldn't be coming back, not in a while, not forever.

He blinked slowly, his expression mystified. I laughed softly at the display of sweet purity. "It's the 18th of May, Kira," I smiled, "Happy Birthday…"

"It is?" He whispered, his voice slow and soft. Slight surprise flitted through those intense violet eyes. Then, the cute, innocent smile returned to his lips again. "What y-year is it…? How... old am I?"

Something in me clenched tightly at the simple, plain question, and a cold, hard metal blade sliced through my heart.

He didn't even know his own age...

What was it like to lie on this white bed, facing white walls every day, until everything had faded into a blur and time wasn't anything but torture? There would be no spring, no summer, no autumn, no winter... Just the plain, white interior of a room. There were no colors except for the grays and whites of the hospital and nurses' uniforms, with only colors from small bouquets of vibrant flowers we took with us when we visited. There would be no sounds. Only the whirring and beeping of the large, heavy medical equipment and the occasional voices of those he knew. Time wouldn't matter then, would it?

"It's CE 83," I muttered, "You're 28, Kira."

28 years coming to a round end – to die on the day you were born. Was that a cruelty or a blessing?

"Oh… really?" He murmured, the whisper nearly inaudible. He tilted his head slightly to gaze at Cagalli, flashing a beautiful smile at her. "H-Happy birthday... Cagalli." Cagalli's lips trembled as she nodded stiffly, a forced smile tugging at her lips, "Yeah, happy birthday to you too, Kira."

He returned his gaze to me, watching my face, reading my eyes... contented just observing me and touching my cheek. I endured his scrutiny, unflinchingly staring into the deep violet pools, immersing myself in the beautiful swirling emotions in them.

"I'll be glad to get out of here..." He laughed hoarsely, "I'm starting... to get s-sick of the smell of medicine..." I could only nod at his attempt at light humor, stroking his soft hair with shaking fingers.

As if on cue, Chloe approached his bed, her movements jerky. "I'll get you ready," She mumbled, her eyes obstinately staring away from mine and his, and she merely nodded at Kira's weak "thank you".

I didn't know how long it took to remove the numerous devices and equipment. Neither did it matter, because there was only Kira.

Nothing else mattered...

We didn't speak, we didn't talk. There were just two pairs of eyes: amethyst staring into pale-blue; our hands entwined as I ran my fingers through his brown curls, waiting for his body to be rid of all that shouldn't be there.

The oxygen mask, the pulse oximeter, the web of intravenous drips, the wires that connected him to the cardiac monitor, the external pacemakers, the feeding tubes...

Everything that had kept him alive for so long, removed one by one as the minutes ticked by... and with it, went the amount of time he would have left.

Until it was all gone. The wires and tubes that had once marred his pretty skin were no longer there; the light blue pajamas he wore were exchanged for loose garments we had brought with us.

He was finally, how he should have been – pure, chaste and beautiful...

§ ♥ §

There was a raw numbness deep inside me, which dragged over all other emotions and thoughts like a thick, heavy blanket of bitter cold snow. There was no regret, no grief, no agony… no thoughts or feelings existed at all.

But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except for him.

The weight in my arms felt so right, so familiar and yet so strange, so real yet so unrealistic. It was like everything I had wished for: to be able to hold him, feel him, touch him… the soft, brown hair that tickled my neck gently… the soothing rub on my shoulder when he moved his head… the lean body I cradled…

Everything I had hoped for that I thought would never come true… had indeed become real. Yet, I feared it; some part of me hoped it would all go away. Irony, isn't it? When I could finally take him out of that white room into the colorful world he had saved, it wasn't that he was cured, it wasn't that we were taking him home to live with us, but we were losing him… and willingly.

I stared at the handsome face leaning against my shoulder, his eyes closed in sleep, his breathing smooth and soft.

Chloe had warned us he would be tired easily, and it had taken us much effort to coax him to take a short nap in the convertible while we drove to our destination. He was excited, despite his frail frame, at the wonders outside the white walls, the images he saw only in his dreams, the memories of long ago. He insisted on the hood being retracted so he could see the skies, and he smiled giddily at the streets, shops and people that we past.

He was like a child, seeing something new for the first time…

And we could only watch him incessantly, not wanting to take our eyes off him… because we didn't have much more time to look, to remember that face and smile we hadn't seen for a long time, and never would again.

The firm embraces Chloe kept giving him; the insistent handshakes from Sandra; the constant peeks in the rear mirror while Athrun drove; the repeated glances from Cagalli… and the many light kisses I pressed to his cold cheek…

They were all small gestures, yet, they were the very last things we could do with him. In some way, they would be our last memories of him…

§ ♥ §

The busy city sounds had faded into silence. In the distance, the soft, soothing sounds of rolling waves drifted towards us, along with the salty ocean air.

Athrun pulled to a stop by the side of the quiet, empty road alongside the beach. For a long while, we sat staring at the sparkling water and the large golden orb that hovered in the red sky. We had once been here… Kira and me, together with the children… But that was just a memory and it would forever remain as one. We wouldn't ever do that again, would we?

I turned to glance at a cluster of trees set nearly fifty metres away from the beach. Shadows waited among the leaves. Here and there, I caught glances of a familiar face. They were to wait there, where Kira wouldn't be able to see or notice them, but they could watch, to pray to those in heaven to reach out to Kira, to protect him from the hurt he couldn't avoid on earth.

Were they waiting for him? Mr. and Mrs. Hibiki? Tolle? Meer? Fllay? Rey? And so many more?

Would they really keep him safe?

Because I had failed once and now, I would send him to a better place… a paradise… I promised I wouldn't let you suffer again…

Cagalli and Athrun had gotten out of the car. I watched, as Athrun retreated a distance away, tear streaks streaming down his cheeks while Cagalli came to the back and leaned over the door, pressing her face close to her brother's. "I'm going to miss you, Kira…" She murmured so softly, it was nearly inaudible. The tears had begun to streak down her cheeks again and they fell onto his lap, a drop followed by another.

She bit her lip to stifle a sob. Gently, she kissed him on his brow and straightened, staring deep into my eyes. I wanted to avoid them, but it was hard to look away from their intensity. "Please make him happy till the end. You're the only one who can…" She whispered.

I could only nod stiffly as fear and agony broke free inside me. Tears pricked painfully at the back of my eyes but I struggled to hold them back, watching helplessly as Athrun and Cagalli headed towards the trees, turning to glance back at us repeatedly until they faded away among the shadows and leaves.

The head on my shoulder moved and beautiful amethyst eyes opened slowly. His lips parted in a gentle smile.

The sun had begun to set, half a golden circle on the horizon.

A hitch in his breathing made me realize his breathing was no longer smooth but slightly uneven. He would soon be gone, forever.

So right now, nothing else mattered, except him…

_Author's note: What do you think? Good? Bad? I felt my standard of writing seemed to have dropped. I would like to hear from you. Criticisms are welcomed. So please, please review._

**I hope you can also take some time off to vote in the poll I created. You can find it on my profile page. The results ****may**** affect the ending of this fan-fiction but I will not depend on it totally.** _If_ _having alternate endings_ _is something good, I may consider doing two endings, but that is up to you. Do you think I should have alternate endings???_

_If I will only write one ending, the next chapter (which will be the last) should be out in several weeks. But if I should write alternate endings, I may take a longer time as I wish to produce both at the same time to cater to everyone's tastes._

_So, what do you think? Please review and tell me!_

_This is a short notice I once stated in an author's note in September but I deleted it, so here it is again: _

_When this story has been completed, its status __will not__ be 'complete'. I will continue to write single chapters (or one-shots) based on events in this story plot. These chapters will be based on reader's requests. For example, I have received a request on an insight of Kira's feelings during his illness. This single chapter will be written when I have completed this story and it will __not__ be Lacus' point of view. I hope you get the idea. But do send me a message if you find this confusing. I will end this system of single chapters when there are no more requests for a while._

_Note: All requests must have a connection with __this__ story plot._

_So, please review!!! Thanks for reading!!!_


	11. A Beautiful Soul

_Firstly, I would like to say that I am dreadfully sorry that I took such a long time to update. I know that I promised this chapter a very long time ago. But this year has been a busy year for me and truthfully, I had a writer's block for nearly 2 months – I lost all my inspirations. So, once again, I am really sorry I took this long. You may criticize me or vent your anger at me in your reviews. I deserve that…_

_Well, before we begin, let me thank my readers: __.001Kamikakushi__ (Thanks so much for your review. You've raised some good points there. And yes, I really do hope Sunrise hasn't forgotten the movie…), __xBlackxButterflyx__ (Your reviews are very interesting! I couldn't help laughing. But I'm glad you seem to enjoy the story),__Orgoth225__ (Hi, thanks once again for your review. I'm happy you liked it. Glad to hear from you again.), __carnation26__ (Sorry it took so long for you to read. I didn't really expect it to be so long too. And you flatter me, about being a famous author… I'm just writing for fun, actually. I'm really glad to hear from you.), __Windlasses__ (Hi, thanks for your review and your compliment. Hope to hear from you again), __Zero'N'oveR__ (No, I didn't miss your request. You hoped to see a chapter with happy moments in Kira and Lacus' life, right? I was just stating a basic example in the previous chapter, that's why I didn't state yours. But I remember it, don't worry. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and perhaps, I didn't have a change in style. And I hope you enjoy the ending I came up with…), __snowdrop.tears__ (a.k.a personal friend! You're as meticulous and straight-forward as ever! But, well, I've got your advice. Thanks again. See you on Monday.), __revenantangel94__ (Hi, I'm glad you liked the chapter. I felt that it would be nice for them to have a talk, that's why I added a conversation. Well, I hope you like the ending I came up with…), __askani16__, (Hi, so glad to hear from you again. Well, please read on and tell me if you enjoyed the ending I came up with. Hope to hear from you.), __william12__ (Hi, glad to hear from you. Thank you for your review!) and lastly __Ryan Crescens__ (I'm really glad to have heard from you. Your reviews have given me a deeper understanding to my writing and made me think off ways to improve and learn from my writing experiences. Thank you so much for that!)_

_Now, this is the official last chapter of the story. I thought long and hard about the ending, and I hope you like it. This particular chapter is dedicated to __**all**__ my readers, especially some of the readers who have followed me in my writing: askani16, revenantangel94, Zero'N'oveR, Orgoth225, snowdrop.tears, Sephiroth and numerous others. Whether or not I have listed you here, as long as you have read this story, or left me a review, this chapter is dedicated to you. Cheers!_

_Now, let's begin, shall we?_

The sun was half a golden sphere, resting on the horizon. Shades of ruby pink, dusky blue and soft purple played across the skies; the elegant ivory clouds immersed in the lovely hues.

I walked alone – a single lonesome figure silhouetted in the fast diminishing light, the sand beneath my bare feet. I took one last step and stopped, gazing out at the calm ocean waters splayed out before me. The rich gold of the round orb and the pale colors of the vast sky had begun to fuse with the silvery reflections shimmering across the cerulean waters.

It was beautiful...

I was smiling gently as I lowered and sat myself on the warm sand, drawing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my chin on a knee, savoring the peaceful serenity while the little waves lapped at my toes softly.

A light ocean breeze wisped around me, caressing my face and hair like loving fingers that stroked my pink locks. The dress I wore billowed around my body in gentle waves, the light material brushing across my skin tenderly.

"Hello, Kira…" I whispered, smiling.

_

* * *

__Sunsets… are the most beautiful things in the world, because that is when the sky presents the world with its prettiest display of colors. At least that was what I had always thought, and that was why I had always loved sunsets…_

_Yet, now I loathed it. I didn't want to see another sunset for the rest of my life… Because no matter how beautiful a sunset is, or how brilliant the colors are, all sunsets signified an end… With every passing second, the fiery orange globe on the other side of the dark ocean waters would dip down lower and lower, brush against the horizon, then sink down below it, until the world is engulfed in darkness… and that was the end, the end of a day, the end of the life I grasped desperately in my hands…_

_The hatred that had begun to consume my insides was a stark contrast to the numbness that had once frozen my heart. I didn't want to feel, because I knew 'feeling' was 'hurting'. It was better to drift along, uncaringly, painlessly…_

_So I grappled for the cold darkness that was slipping away slowly. Yet, somehow, I couldn't reach that disappearing darkness. If only I could touch it. As soon as I dipped a finger in it, it would come flowing back, I knew it would… But I couldn't reach it… Something was tugging at me, pulling me away from the peaceful, quiet darkness and into an endless pit of clear, hard emotions that descended down on me, crushing me with its painful clarity. Until I gave in and allowed myself to get sucked into a whirlpool of anger, hatred and abhorrence. _

_I hated the sunset, for its undeniable significance; I hated myself, for succumbing to this hatred and for having stumbled around in the dark for so long; I hated Athrun and Cagalli, for asking me to make him happy when I wasn't sure that I could; I hated Ulen Hibiki, for creating him in such a way; I hated the body pressed close to mine, for being unable to sustain the person I loved so dearly; I hated the hand that rested in mine, for turning colder and colder… and I hated reality, for being harsh and painful and for denying me that dark numbness…_

_But there was one thing I could never hate – Kira… The child who cried because of his guilt and pain; the man who fought for our rights; that wonderful, innocent soul that I loved…_

_It was the end, but could I let go? _

_I glanced down at Kira who was sitting between my legs, his head leaning back against my right shoulder. His beautiful amethyst eyes were watching the sun slip below the horizon, his soft brown hair catching the ocean breeze, his pale lips held a slight smile…_

_Gently, I squeezed his cold hand, feeling the iciness of it._

_I didn't want to let go…_

* * *

You're up there, aren't you, Kira? The place where there is never any sorrow, grief, pain or regret... The place with all the things your beautiful soul desires – peace, love, comfort, protection...

I gazed up at the skies and reached out a hand slowly. How nice it would be, if I could just reach the pale skies that seemed within my reach... I imagined the sky rippling like smooth silk as my finger brushed against it and my hand slipping through it to catch hold of yours on the other side. Can you feel it, Kira? It's my warm hand reaching for you, anxious to feel yours... My soul seeking for you among the clouds and stars...

_I knew I was losing him, with every second that ticked by. I wanted to keep holding him, to never let go. It didn't matter if his hand had become alarmingly cold, or if the body leaning against me had begun to feel uncomfortably heavier as he gradually lost his strength to hold himself upright. I didn't want to let go..._

"_It's so beautiful..." Kira murmured softly. They were the first words he had spoken since I had helped him out of the car and settled down on the cool sand of the beach._

_What were you seeing, Kira? I had wondered, if you were watching the sunset or if you were seeing something entirely different... Was it something beautiful beckoning to you? _

_Was it time to let you go?_

_I didn't dare to ask him what it was that he felt 'beautiful'... So, I kept quiet, and raised my head to look at the dusk sky instead._

_A still calmness had crept into my soul once again. I wasn't worried... not at all... They must be there, waiting for him. I knew they would welcome him with tender, affectionate hands. All of them, who had somehow known this beautiful soul... Tolle Koenig, Aisha, Natarle Badgiruel, Flay Allster, Meer Campbell, Nicol Amalfi, Rey Za Burrel, Ulen and Via Hibiki... I knew they would take him by his hands, whisper encouragements and soothing words as they guided him towards them. Perhaps, that was the beautiful thing beckoning to Kira – the sight of his loved ones..._

_I prayed to Father, and to Mother to be there for him, because soon, I wouldn't be able to... Please take care of him, in my place..._

_I tore my gaze away from the skies and turned to glance at the trees not far off, where Athrun and Cagalli had gone to join them. But now, some of them had wandered out of the shadows to catch a better glimpse of Kira. Through the trees, I saw so many familiar faces. Even the children were there, held back by Caridad and Reverend Malchio..._

_We were all there, to hand him into those loving hands, watching as he drifted further and further away from us..._

_Was it time to let go?_

"_It's so beautiful..." Kira repeated, as he smiled. With difficulty, he raised his hand painfully to point at the setting sun. I could only smile and slowly place a hand over his, drawing it close to my heart and clutching it tightly._

* * *

"Birdy!"

I glanced up as a flourish of emerald and blonde swooped down towards me. The little creature landed on the top my head, its tiny feet entangling in a few strands of my pink locks. Just like what it always did when Kira was around...

I laughed softly and reached up to pluck Birdy off my head. The small robot cocked its head to a side and stared up at me with its cute ruby eyes. "Birdy?" It called as I cradled it in both hands.

It hopped down from my palm and onto my knee where it stayed still, watching the rushing waves.

"You miss Kira too, don't you?" I smiled gently.

_

* * *

_

To be sitting there, holding Kira, watching the sunset peacefully... It had been my dream, my desire for so long. Now, it had finally come true and I wished time would stop then, just so I could be with him for endless eternity.

_However, the waves just continued rushing in, the sun continued setting. The world was beginning to go to sleep and everything just went on as usual, even as the end drew near... _

_We gazed into the disappearing sun, our hands entwined in each others' for comfort. There was no need for words... He was too weak to speak, and I wanted to preserve the quiet, peaceful tranquility for him to take away..._

"_Birdy!"_

_I jerked upright from surprise as a little emerald bird dived down from the skies and landed on Kira's shoulder. Stunned, I spun my head around to glance into the trees. From afar, I could see Athrun's hands clapped around his mouth in horror while the rest of them stared on in shock._

"_Birdy?" Kira whispered, "Is that really you?" I glanced down hurriedly as I felt Kira struggling to get up. Carefully, I tried to help him into a sitting position while he leaned heavily against me for support. Birdy bounded down from Kira's shoulder and into his hand, chirping and bouncing cheerfully. A soft laugh escaped Kira's pale, flaky lips and he held Birdy close, nuzzling its emerald and yellow feathers. The fear that had clutched at me when Birdy had first appeared dissipated when I saw the delight gleaming in those amethyst eyes. _

"_Birdy!" He rasped weakly, "How did you... Why..." He gazed at me expectantly. _

_I forced a smile. "We found Birdy broken in the garden several weeks ago. Athrun took a long time to repair him," I lied helplessly, keeping the bitterness out of my voice warily. _

_To think that, lying had become such an easy feat..._

_He didn't ask any questions, merely returning his gaze to Birdy again, grinning faintly. "Thank you," He murmured as he stroked Birdy tenderly, "Thank you..."_

_I felt the familiar wave of guilt and agony wash through me once again. _

_He had always been so simple and only such a beautiful, untainted soul would be unable to determine that the weak excuse I had given was a pure lie… And yet I was happy about that. Because I knew that no matter what happened, he would always remain untainted and pure…_

* * *

I watched, amused as Birdy jumped down from my knee and landed gracefully on the sand by my feet. It approached the waves that came rushing in and cautiously hopped to and fro, twittering in excitement whenever it got its feet wet.

I laughed, and raised my head to watch the skies again. I wonder what you're doing up there, Kira…

You're watching us, aren't you?

I know you can see me on the beach right now, and you must be chuckling at Birdy's silly antics...

You're watching us, just like an angel in heaven… That beautiful soul I loved…

_

* * *

_

The sun was now a mere shallow dome resting on the horizon. Soon, it would be gone, and so would he…

_What would life be without him? When he had been well, we had fought together to maintain the peace and repair the devastation caused by the war. It had been difficult, but he was there… And when he was confined within the white walls of the hospital, the pain that had attacked was excruciating. But regardless of the daily hospital visits, the fear of the unpredictable and the constant piercing pain, he was still the one that had kept me running for so long…_

_And now, he would be gone… and he would never know what had happened…_

_A torrent of emotions surged through me and all of a sudden, my eyes were glazed with tears. I lost all control of the tears and the hitch in my breathing._

_He must have heard, for he shifted in my arms slightly, and tilted his head up to gaze at me. _

_Hurriedly, I turned away, my eyes seeking the ground. What in the world was I doing? I wasn't supposed to cry... I couldn't, or Kira would know... I chewed my lip repeatedly, my chest tightening uncomfortably from my frantic efforts to stop the tears. _

_A pale hand came into my vision slowly and cupped my chin with cold, stiff fingers. Something deep within me told me to resist, but I was paralyzed... from fear, anxiety, or guilt... I didn't know. Dazedly, I allowed him to turn my face towards him. _

_But adamantly, my gaze hovered somewhere in his lap, refusing to meet his eyes. He didn't insist, neither did he say a word... He merely stared silently at me, his thumb stroking my cheek weakly. _

_How could I look into his eyes, knowing I was the one who had moved him like a pawn across the chessboard? I was afraid... I realized. I was afraid to see that pure innocence in them... We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like hours… And I remembered that this would be the last time, the last time I could gaze into his eyes, caress his hair, and whisper into his ear..._

_Finally, I lifted my head and met his eyes..._

_He was watching me, a beautiful, gentle smile playing across his lips. But the most mesmerizing things were his eyes... They caught me, trapping me in a beautiful web of intricate emotions. I was sinking into their amethyst depths, just like how I had fallen so deeply in love with him… _

_Yet, his face had become hauntingly pale. Uncontrollable tremors and muscle spasms had begun to course through his body._

"_I want… to look at you…" He rasped, his voice hoarse and weak, "One last time… before I go…" _

_One last time… My gaze darted from his eyes to take in all his features. "One last time"… What did Kira know? Was it possible, that he knew our plans? I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. This time, I was paralyzed with terror. _

_But, he didn't make any indication that he had noticed my apprehension. His smile remained, and his eyes held a loving tenderness. His cold fingers brushed against my cheek and ran through my hair._

_Then, his dry lips parted slightly. "Thank you… Lacus…" He paused, gazing into my eyes. Determination shone in them, which seized me in a vice-like grip. _

"_Thank you… for making my last day so beautiful…" He murmured softly. Slowly, he pulled me into an embrace, his hands weak, yet gentle and loving. _

_I stared out at the ocean, shocked by the turn of events._

"_I-I'm… not good with words… but I want you… to know… that even when I wasn't sure what I was, you were… there for me… Thank you… I want to… remember you face… even when I go… The woman I love…"_

_Tears were streaming down my face, but I was unaware of them. All I knew, was that the body pressed close to mine was turning colder and stiffer by the minute… and I didn't want to let go…_

_We were both silent, until I heard his faint whisper, "The world… belongs to you just… as much as you… belong to the world…"_

_I froze. A faded memory of long ago came drifting back... _

"My mother told me something long ago… She said, the world belongs to you, just as much as you belong to the world. For you were born, and that gives you the right to exist…"

_The right to exist…_

_Suddenly, it all came rushing back to me. The confusion of the last week cleared up and the memories flashed through my mind with such painful clarity. The phone calls, the secret meetings, the lies, the meticulous planning… Just what had I done? _

_I buried my face in Kira's neck and cried hard, heaving sobs wrecking my entire body. It seemed like I had been stumbling in the dark for 6 long years and all of a sudden, a light had been switched on, and I realized that I had been tripping over my own feet. I was gibbering from the force of the sorrow that overwhelmed me, mumbling apologies and requesting for forgiveness._

_Abruptly, I realized that time was slipping away, as swiftly as the sand flowing down the curves of an ornate hour-glass. I pushed myself away from Kira and grasped his shoulders, my movements jerky and forceful from the adrenaline rush. _

"_Kira… Tell me," I burst out, ignoring the tears that spilled over my cheeks, "What do you want? Are you ready to leave?"_

_He smiled faintly, and gently reached up to touch my face, "No… I don't want to leave… or give up… Not yet…" _

_But before he could say another word, there was a hitch in his breathing and his breaths came fast and desperate. Shivers and spasms wrenched at his body._

_I gripped him in a hug, screaming… Trying to hang on to that beautiful, disappearing soul…_

* * *

You knew it all along, didn't you, Kira?

But you never said a thing. That's you, isn't it? I don't hate you for not saying anything, because that's what I love about you… Your innocence and purity…

I watched Birdy open its wings and soar into the skies before angling towards the large house on the cliffs. I returned my gaze to the setting sun, and smiled…

_

* * *

_

We had rushed back to the hospital in anxiety. Athrun had tore through the city, driving past the speed limits while Cagalli rummaged for blankets and cushions in a desperate attempt to make him comfortable and to stem his spasms. I could only hold him tight, whispering endearments through my choked sobs…

_The screeching of wheels, the slamming of car doors… Everything flew past in a haze. We dashed through the hospital doors, and crammed into the lifts. I wished the pulsing red numbers on the screen would move faster, the voice that signaled the 7__th__ storey would speak sooner and the metal doors would open quicker…_

_We ran down the bleak white corridors, screaming for the doctor. Yet, I couldn't do anything but hold his hand while Athrun struggled to carry him. _

_I noted every spasm, every shiver, every contortion of his facial muscles… and the fear and terror only dug deeper into me._

_The large white doors of the operating room slammed shut on us…_

_Kira made it out of the operation room after over 30 hours of surgery. He was alive, but Chloe said he didn't have long, because he had been away from the medical facilities for an extended period of time… They had done their best, but his body systems had broken down so badly that all they could do was to sustain him for several days…_

_Painful sobs and cries reverberated around the white corridors for hours._

_Even until after he had awakened from the anesthetics…_

_However, Kira had smiled, a smile hindered by the oxygen mask, but a smile nonetheless. "Hi…" He had whispered, taking my hand with weak fingers. He was so frail, that he couldn't even close his fingers around mine… but I did, I held his hand tight, clutching it, warming it…_

_Thankful that he had several more days to live…_

_We took him out of the hospital for the second time, moving all the necessary medical equipment with him. We brought him home, a place he hadn't set foot in for 6 years…_

_He reminisced on old times with Miriallia, Sai and Kuzzey; he met the crew of the Archangel; he sat with Andrew as he drank his coffee; he joked with Mu and Murrue; he played with Torii and the orphans; he laughed with Cagalli; he chatted with Athrun… and he told me, how much he loved me…_

_All of us sat with him till he breathed his last, and I held his hand until he closed his eyes. But no one cried this time… because there was a beautiful smile etched in his lips…_

* * *

There are many things in the world, which often aren't what we think they are…

The malice of war caused by the insatiability of humans, the insuperable myriad of illnesses and diseases that clutched at life and tore it apart slowly and ruthlessly… Painful, harsh reality…

Yet, despite all that, the world is a beautiful place… and everything on it has its own beauty and charm. That, I learnt from the one who had caught my heart… That, was the lesson I saw in Kira – the one with the most beautiful soul I had ever seen.

"Mummy!"

I glanced over my shoulder, smiling at the shrill, excited voice. Half a dozen children were hurtling down the sandy slope, laughing and tumbling over one another in their enthusiasm. With them, came a torrent of crazed haros, bouncing wildly.

"Mummy!" Roy gasped, doubling over from breathlessness as he skidded to a stop right in front of me. One after another, the others caught up and collapsed on the sandy beach in wheezes and fits of laughter. I inclined my head, amused by their antics.

"Aunty Mana wanted us to tell you dinner's ready!" The little boy piped up, as soon as he had managed to get his breathing under control.

"Well, alright then…" I smiled, standing up and brushing the sand of my dress, "Shall we go in for some dinner?"

The orphans cheered and laughed, getting ready to hurl up the slope again in another race.

"Papa? There?" A soft voice inquired softly. I glanced down to see little Miko pointing at the sky with its deepening shades of crimson. She lifted her head to gaze at me, her large eyes bright and innocent.

I crouched down to pick up the sweet little child. She chortled, her chubby little legs flailing before she finally settled down in the crook of my arm. "Daddy. There?" She asked again, reaching out to the horizon.

"Yeah, Daddy's out there," I murmured softly, smiling.

The children surrounding me had quieted down and they stood, watching the sun set. Then Hiroya put his little hands to his mouth and called out to the sunset, "Daddy! We're going in to have dinner with Mummy now! We're come out to say 'Good night' later, okay?"

One after another, the children cried out to the skies and waved at the retreating sun.

"Are you coming up for dinner or not?" A shrill voice shouted, a tinge of annoyance in it. I turned around and saw Cagalli standing at the top of the sandy slope, a hand on her hip while the other supported her bulging stomach. Athrun appeared from behind her and put an arm around her waist. "Come on, kids! You too, Lacus! Dinner's getting cold!"

Carefully, I placed Miko on the ground again and watched as the children giggled and raced up the slope again.

I followed close behind, but before I entered the door, I turned back to gaze at the disappearing sun... and there, I saw him, the gentle breeze playing through his soft brown hair, his beautiful amethyst eyes watching us tenderly as he stretched out a hand towards us. His gentle fingers touched my hair, running through my tresses lightly. Then he bent close, gazing into my eyes... lavender fusing with pale blue... I smiled and closed my eyes as he leaned towards me and grazed his lips over my brow. 'I love you...'

I smiled and closed my eyes, savoring the peaceful serenity.

I knew he would always be there, the angel from heaven, the beautiful soul…

**The End**

_Well, that's the end, so what do you think? I do know that some parts of this chapter may have lost some of its detail and may not be as good. As this is the ending, I expect all sorts of reviews so don't hesitate to criticize and point out any flaws. I accept all criticisms. So, please review!_

_This is a reminder: I will be writing individual chapters for this story. So, it's not exactly complete. I have 2 or 3 requests now, and I shall begin work as soon as I can. Meanwhile, feel free to tell me what else you would like to see in regards to this story._

_Please review!_


	12. Interlude: Don't Cry

_Author's note: Hello! Well, here's the first completed request/interlude: an insight into Kira's feelings. This is the first chapter that made me cry while I was writing it. Yes, I did cry. It was horrible to write something with Kira suffering so much. But I shan't reveal too much in the author's note._

_Before we begin, I would like to say that I was very touched by the response gathered from the previous chapter. So, thank you very much, everyone: __askani16__ (I'm really glad that you liked the ending, but I'm curious as to know what sort of ending you were expecting. Can you tell me? And don't thank me, because I should be the one thanking you for all your continuous support. So, thank you!), __cipherknight__ (Thank you so much for review. I was rather touched. I'm really glad that you like the ending.), __revenantangel94__ (Thank you, not only for your review but the continuous support you've given me throughout the course of my writing. I'm really happy to have readers like you.), __Ninja Stars__ (Hi, I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading the previous chapter. Thank you so much for your review.), __xBlackxButterflyx__ (Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Kindly apologize to your trash man for me… And I hope to hear from you again!), __Nananah__ (Thank you for your review. It's great that you like the previous chapter. Hope to hear from you again.), __Resurrected.Wings__ (Oh, hi. So, you've been reading all along? Thank you. Well, I hope this chapter does add on to the story.), __Orgoth225__ (Hello! Well, I'm glad you liked the ending. Was it unexpected? What did you expect the ending to be then?), __Zero'N'oveR__ (Well, you really had a big reaction. I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it so much. As I wasn't really used to writing a chapter with so many flashbacks, I was rather concerned with the grammar, so I paid lesser attention to the sense of detail. I'm trying to improve on my writing, so that I can keep the sense of detail and yet ensure that my grammar is correct. Oh, and keeping Birdy a "secret" was rather difficult since there were times when I almost revealed Birdy. Regarding your request, I will begin work as soon as I can. However, I have several commitments on hand at the moment. I might only be able to begin work at the end of October. Is that alright? I will begin work as soon as I can, I promise. I'm so sorry to make you wait.), __settsuna__ (Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope to hear from you again!), __NIGHTCAT11__ (Thank you very much for your review. You've raised several important points and helped me see my writing in a different light. Thank you for that. I hope to hear from you again!), __Personal Friend No. 2 a.k.a Crystal Heart of Sapphire Love__ (Well, you're making a grand entrance! Yes, I know I write too many tragedies! I'll think about your request, alright? You're really a die-hard Cagalli-Athrun fan! Oh well, thanks for reading!) and lastly, __GGUNDAMFAN34__ (Thank you very much for your review. I hope to hear from you again!)_

_Now then, I present the first request from askani16 and __LuciouscandY1594. This chapter is dedicated to the both of you! Cheers! So, read on, and I hope you enjoy it!_

**Don't Cry**

Amethyst eyes opened very slowly in the darkness. His vision was bleary and unfocused and everything vacillated before his somnolent eyes. Gradually, the hazy smudges began to form shape and he found himself staring up at the plain, dark ceiling. Slowly, he allowed his weary gaze to wander around the dark room.

The metallic window blinds were drawn down halfway over the glass and underneath, trickles of rain flowed down, branching into tiny streams. The black, inky starless night sky stretched out beyond. The only luminosity that lit the dark room came from the small lamp in the farthest corner. It emanated a warm orange glow which fell as a gentle shadow at the foot of his bed.

His drifting gaze roved back to the white ceiling and he stared on at it blankly.

A large part of him was still delirious from the drugs and painkillers that had been injected intravenously into his veins to assuage his discomfort. His head felt exceedingly heavy and he found it a struggle to stay awake. Exhaustion tugged relentlessly at him. Still confused and muddled, he longed to sink back into sleep's warm, comforting depths and allow rest to cradle his small, weak body... like gentle hands that nursed him tenderly.

Despite his faintness, he noticed how the darkness seemed to be closing in; he felt the cold bed sheets clinging to his frail body and he heard the soft, constant beeps emitting from the cardiac monitor... Such beautiful sensations... to a body and soul that had been deprived of so much feeling...

He wasn't awake often, because whenever he opened his eyes, pain attacked with a vengeance. Waves of agony that surged through his body repeatedly... Hence, he was constantly kept under anesthesia. The drugs took away all his pain, but they always left another painful scar that etched deep within his heart, swallowing him in its swirling sea of grayness, when the world his amethyst eyes were watching blackened out.

So, being awake was a blessing...

Every second he was awake became a precious thing. It was the time when he could enjoy a tiny piece of world he had helped to save. Even if it was a small white room with its perpetual white walls, it was something, something wonderful… to a body and soul that had lost so much…

So he wouldn't give up. He told himself that, and he fought back the urge weakly, straining to stay awake for a little longer.

But being awake came with a price.

He was aware of an uncomfortable tingling in his chest. Something that was present most of the time when he was awake. He knew what it meant, and he knew what it would lead to...

It didn't really hurt, but the sting was steadily increasing, until it began to edge into the cruel claws of pain that often raked through his soul. He struggled to slow his breathing and ignore the mounting pain, trying purposefully to run broken, random thoughts through his mind in order to draw himself away.

But a sharp stab of pain pierced through his chest, an intense burning that constricted his pounding heart. A soft whimper broke through his slightly parted lips, a single, desolate, choked cry in the silence. He tried to place a hand on his bandaged chest, hoping he could rub gently to soothe the agony but his fingers could barely move.

Desperately, he reached for the infusion pump activation button that had been left within centimeters of his stiff, cold hand. The cool plastic felt foreign and hard beneath his trembling fingertip. Straining, he pushed the little knob with as much as energy as he could muster, and began his long anxious wait for the relief analgesia brought.

He laid staring at the dark ceiling, tears of pure pain pricking at the back of his eyes. There was nothing he could do but to wait, yearning for the pain to subside and alleviate into the familiar, constant ache he was now used to feeling. Like always, the agony began to fade gradually, easing into a soreness that twisted itself around his chest. Uncomfortable, but manageable...

He returned to watching the bleak, white ceiling again, listening to the muffled pour of rain on the windows…

* * *

_I knew I was being selfish. I knew I didn't have the right... to wish that I could see all of them once again._

_I was staring out of that large glass window, my eyes watching the white door of the room overlooking the operating theatre. Where were they? Were they coming? Were they arriving soon? _

_I prayed they would come. I needed to see them... I needed them... by my side..._

_An excruciating pain was stabbing deep into my chest. The sound of my ragged, desperate breaths tearing through my lips ripped through my confused mind._

_Was I going to die? Was it time?_

_I was afraid; I was terrified... _

_It hurt so much..._

_I wished someone could hold me close, pull me back from the darkness I was falling into. I wanted someone to help me, save me..._

_It hurt so much..._

_I hoped they would come; I wished I could see those familiar faces; I longed to hear their warm, comforting voices..._

_But they would cry... I had seen them cry, whenever they saw me, whenever they touched me. I didn't want that; I didn't want to make them sad, didn't want to hurt them._

_No, don't come... Go back... Don't come..._

_Don't be sad... Don't cry..._

_There were tears in my eyes. I didn't know if they were tears of physical pain, or tears of the deep, unexplainable agony that ate at me inside. _

_Please... don't come... or you'll cry..._

_Please come... It hurts so much... Please, save me..._

_No, don't come... Don't let me hurt you... Don't cry..._

_The door flew open, a flurry of white. I stared at the archway and saw her standing there, her beautiful eyes fixed on me. Slowly, she took an unsteady step, then another until she stood directly behind the glass window, looking down on me. _

_Behind her, I noticed the others streaming into the room. _

_They were all here... They were all here with me when I needed them..._

_Thank you... Thank you..._

_I didn't know I was smiling, but I saw my faint reflection on the glass as she crouched down, lowering herself so that my face was levered with hers. She placed a hand gently on the glass. She looked so beautiful, so pure... yet, there was a painful sadness in her blue-gray orbs and tears crept down her pale cheeks._

_I shifted my glance to the figures standing behind her, and agony tore through my soul. They were all crying, embracing one another for comfort and support._

_They were all so precious to me, too precious to hurt, too precious to lose, too precious to love..._

_I'm so sorry... Don't let me hurt you..._

_My entire body ached. Raising my hand sent shockwaves and agony through my nerves. My fingers touched the cold glass first and slowly, I pressed my palm against it. She was watching me intently, grief shining in the tears that filled her eyes._

_Don't cry... Please, don't cry... I'll be fine... I'll be alright... Because you came, because you're here... Don't be hurt... Don't cry..._

_I felt the needle prick my skin and sink deep into my forearm. It hurt so much... but I was so happy... to be able to see all those I hold close to my heart..._

_There was something calling to me, leading me gently into the darkness, like a lullaby... I must go... but I'll be back, alright? You're all here with me, aren't you? So, I'll come back... _

_I'll be fine, so don't cry... Don't let me hurt you... Don't cry for me... And thank you, for being right here by my side... Thank you..._

* * *

He tilted his head slightly and watched the rain trickle down the dark glass.

The sky's crying… He didn't know how he knew that, but something deep inside was telling him that, a soft gentle voice that resonated deep in his soul.

The sky was crying…

A small smile touched his lips. He wanted to tell the sky, that there was no need to cry for him… He was happy, because he was alive, he was awake. So, there was no need to cry for him…

Then, far beyond the black sky, he saw a beautiful spark of white light, and its rays reached out towards him, as though beckoning him…

_

* * *

_

Flay? Is that you? Hi, did you come to see me again? Oh, Tolle... you're here too…

_I'm so sorry – I couldn't save all of you… Will you forgive me?_

_It seems that I always hurt the people around me, the people I love so much. It's so hard to bear watching the pain in their eyes, the desolateness that swirls in their dark sorrowful depths. It hurts to know that the agony they suffer from, is because of me. I want to take their anguish away, I really do... I would rather endure it all if I could. I never intended for them to suffer alongside me._

_I'm so sorry... Forgive me, please..._

_Would my death... soothe away all that pain? If that is so, please, take me away; let me go... so that the happiness I had seized from all of them would return._

_I don't want to see them cry for me..._

_I'm so sorry..._

_You know, I promised Shinn that I would help replant the flowers again. No matter how many times they're blown away… But, what can I do now when I can't even see the flowers outside these white walls? Are they still swaying in the wind? Are they still reaching for the warm sunshine?_

_I broke my promise to him._

_I'm sorry. Forgive me…_

_Mother? Father? _

_What should I do? I'm so confused, Mum, Dad… Can you tell me what am I? Who am I? Why did you make me like that, Father? Am I nothing but the experiment of an ambitious scientist? Am I the desire of every Coordinator? The 'perfect', 'ultimate' weapon? I wish I'm something more… _

_Can I say that I belong to the world, as much as the world belongs to me? That was what Lacus had told me. Was she right? Can I believe in that? I really want to._

_Lacus…_

_I love her so much. You would have liked her, if you had a chance to see her, Mum, Dad... You would be all hers, just as I am. She would make a beautiful wife, and I know you would have been proud to see me marry such a pure woman. _

_But I tainted her._

_I made her cry… Don't cry for me, please…_

_And Cagalli too. I wish I could stay by her side and help her. But I can't… I'm glad though, because Athrun is with her. I know they'll walk together, till the end of time. Just as how I wish I could with Lacus…_

_I'm sorry, for making all of you cry…_

_Please don't cry…_

_Oh, you're all here… _

_Lieutenant Badgiruel, it's so nice to see you again… Stella… Nicol… Aisha… Miguel… Captain Gladys, Chairman Durandal… Rey… _

_I wish I could come and join you, and take away all the pain I bestowed on those I love._

_But there is so much that I want to do, that I want to say…_

_I haven't told her, how much I love her. I haven't thanked Athrun, for everything he did for me. I haven't hugged Cagalli, and told her how much she means to me…_

_I'm not ready to go… But when I am, will you take me, will you lead me away… Don't leave me alone…_

_Thank you then… _

* * *

He was staring at the ceiling again.

A strange peace had overcome his mind. He surrendered to it willingly, feeling the soft feathers of sleep caress him lightly. His vision blurred.

There were two worlds… and both had all the people he had once known, familiar faces that were watching him intently. "Don't cry…" He smiled at them, "Don't cry for me… I'm happy…" He reached out both hands and he felt warm fingers clasp them both.

"Shh… sleep, Kira. I will protect you with all my real feelings…"

"It's okay to cry, Kira… I'm right here by your side…"

"My dear Kira, my son… Close your eyes and sleep… I love you…"

"I'll never leave you, little brother… So, go on, go ahead and rest…"

He smiled, his beautiful amethyst eyes closing slowly. Darkness swallowed him, but he wasn't afraid. A tear at the edge of his eye slipped down his right cheek, but gentle fingers wiped it away, reassuring hands held him close and gentle voices soothed him to sleep…

The world outside his eyes turned black, but the two worlds inside his soul shone brighter than ever…

_Author's note: So, what do you think? I know some parts of it seem rather confusing. I was a bit hazy when I was writing it because I was crying. Embarrassing… Anyway, the ending is rather strange, I know. But, it just sort of came to me like that, so I wrote it this way. It's like trying out a new style or something. By the way, just a note – this interlude is supposed to be set somewhere after the chapter "The Sky's Crying". There are certain references to that chapter._

_Well, what do you think? Please review! The next chapter that I will be working on is Zero'N'oveR's request. In the meantime, I'm still accepting requests, so just tell me what else you would like to see from this story plot. Please review and comment! All criticisms are accepted too!_


	13. Interlude: I Love You, Kira

_Author's note: Oh wow! This must be the shortest time I ever took to update. But this chapter was surprisingly rather easy to write. Ah, yes, just a note: this chapter focuses on romance and not tragedy. Maybe I write romance faster than when I write tragedy…_

_Anyway, before we start, I must say that it has come to my notice that the previous chapter had been rather disappointing and lacked some of the usual emotions and effects. I'm really sorry for that. I will look carefully into that chapter and identify what went wrong. I won't make such a mistake again._

_And now, to thank my readers: __Ryan Crescens__ (You have received my private messages and I hope that you know how much I appreciate your help and effort. So, thank you!), __askani16__ (Well, thank you for all your support. Like stated in my private message, don't hesitate to contact me if you have trouble understanding any part of my chapter, alright? Hope to hear from you soon.),__Zero'N'oveR__ (The previous chapter has been disappointing. But I hope that this chapter isn't. This chapter is actually your request. Please do not be put off by how quickly I completed this chapter. I really have no idea how I could finish it so quickly, but I believe that this chapter is much better than the previous one. I hope that I do not disappoint you again.), __LadyNightSky__ (Thank you for your review. As stated in my private message, I will complete your request as another one-shot with references to this story. Since I managed to finish this request much faster than expected, I will be able to work on yours much sooner but it will still be sometime in November. Sorry to make you wait.) and lastly, __revenantangel94__ (Like always, you have given me so much support. Thank you for that! I hope to hear from you soon.)_

_Well, please forgive me for being so long-winded today but there are several things I would like to say before we begin. Firstly, this is the very last chapter to this story. This is also Zero'N'oveR's request, so this chapter is dedicated to Zero'N'oveR. Thank you so much for the support you've given me. Cheers! _

_I do have another request from LadyNightSky, however, as it focuses more on Athrun and Cagalli, I will make it a separate one-shot with references to this story. Thus, this story is now officially 'complete'._

_Secondly, most importantly, I will be handing over all my ideas to Ryan Crescens. He will be writing a story with a similar story plot, but I believe that he will be able to exploit all the potential of the story that I did not. So, please do read his story when it has been completed. He would have, in no way, taken any of my ideas, because I have given him permission to use any of them. Well, Ryan, I'll be waiting to see how far you can take this story…_

_It has been a wonderful ride, everyone. I've become so attached to this story that I can't bear to let go… Well, thank you for the support you've all given me. I feel really fortunate to have such readers – askani16, Zero'N'oveR, revenantangel94, Ryan Crescens, orgoth225 and so many, many others. A big thank you to one and all…_

_And now, I shan't hold you up anymore. Read on, and I hope you enjoy it…_

**I Love You, Kira…**

A light breeze caught my hair when I stepped out onto the balcony, pink locks caressing my face in waves. The floor beneath my bare feet felt cold and the pale blue nightgown billowed around my legs. I tightened my hold around the shawl draped over my shoulders and leaned against the balcony rails. The refreshing scent of the ocean air was exquisite.

It had been a long time since I had visited Orb. Taking on the position of Chairwoman meant that I had to stay up in the PLANTs. I couldn't oversee PLANTs' politics while remaining on Earth. However, with the upcoming political meeting with Cagalli and the other leaders, I was given the chance to return to Orb for a week or so. It was wonderful to be back...

I sighed softly in the peaceful silence.

A quiet shuffle interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see Kira standing in the archway, silhouetted against the warm orange glow of the bedroom lamps. "Sorry," He murmured apologetically, "I didn't mean to startle you..." I merely smiled and shook my head. He stepped onto the balcony and approached the rails, his feet silent on the ground. Stopping by my side, he closed his eyes and inhaled the ocean breeze. A small smile played across his lips.

I watched him silently, allowing my eyes to run over his angelic features.

It had been hard on Kira. The memories of war had tainted and changed him. Small talk with Miriallia had revealed to me Kira's previous personality...

"_Oh, he smiled and talked a lot more back then..." Miriallia laughed softly, "The guys would always tease him, especially about Flay. He always was dreadfully shy around girls!" She paused and a thoughtful look slipped into her turquoise eyes. "But he doesn't speak as much nowadays. That's what war did to him. It robbed him of his joy and innocence..."_

I didn't know _that_ Kira. When I had first met him, he had been a broken soul trapped in the world of conflict. I tried to draw him out of his shell and slowly he emerged, but somehow, he had left his laughter behind. Maybe I would never get to know the Kira of the past.

But I was happy with what I had. I loved Kira for who he was, deep inside...

"I-Is something wrong?"

I startled out of my reverie at his voice. He was peering at me inquiringly. "No, everything's alright," I smiled reassuringly in response as I turned back to watch the night scene. We were quiet for a moment until I spoke, breaking the prevailing silence. "It's so beautiful out here, don't you think so?" I smiled. "I really do miss Orb and all the..."

I stopped suddenly, surprised as warm fingers covered mine and I shifted my gaze to Kira hurriedly. His face was turned slightly away from me and his bright amethyst eyes were fixed on the night sky. It was as though he didn't know he was holding my hand. But the red blush torching his cheeks gave him away. I dropped my gaze, trying to stifle my giggles. At the sound of my muffled gurgling, he tilted his head to watch me, still blushing furiously and with slight confusion in his eyes.

Smiling shyly, I found myself unable to meet his eyes. It wasn't everyday that Kira freely displayed such intimacy... Slowly, I leaned towards him. He tensed when I rested my head on his shoulder, unsure of what he was supposed to do. Then, he relaxed and wrapped an arm gently around my waist, burying his face in my hair.

I knew he must've been blushing wildly, and I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of his body. We stood there for a long time that night, enjoying the peace and serenity in each other's arms.

And perhaps, I did know the Kira of the past. Perhaps, Kira hadn't changed much – since that shyness and cute innocence had always been there...

* * *

The Clyne Mansion was teeming with people and with all that racket and chaos, it was inevitable that Roy broke a plate while dashing through the kitchen with Athrun and Shinn hot on his heels in their game of 'chase'. Nevertheless, it was difficult to put on a frown, least of all get angry, when Kira had taken the time and effort to plan such a grand birthday party for me.

It was wonderful to see everyone together again. In some way, it was a heart-felt gathering, after having taken up different positions and roles in the aftermath of the war. Some of us were in PLANTs while others were on Earth, and while some of us joined the military or government, others found their places somewhere else...

The orphans, of course, were thrilled to be visiting the Clyne Mansion in PLANTs and they were terribly excited by the vast number of people stopping by for the party. Dinner was both rowdy and messy and yet, there was a strange joy in cleaning up afterwards, especially as everyone chipped in and played a part.

In the midst of the party, Kira beckoned to me and took my hand. Pressing a gentle finger to my lips, he smiled mysteriously and said, "Follow me..." He pulled me out of the lounge where the children were dancing animatedly and away from the party. Leading me out of the house, we meandered through the dark garden paths.

"Where're we going, Kira?" I asked curiously, tugging at his hand. "You'll know when we get there," Kira replied, simply turning back and grinning at me before he trudged on determinedly. I trailed along after him, smiling helplessly at his secrecy. What in the world was he up to?

He led me towards one of the gardens behind the Clyne Mansion, where few people visited the less pronounced area. I bumped into him slightly when he stopped. "Kira!" I scolded softly in mock protest at his sudden break, before I tiptoed to peer over his shoulder.

A neat white gate stood before us and on both sides, there were green hedges. Beyond them, I couldn't see anything but darkness. "Why're we stopping?" I whispered. He turned back and smiled. "Over here," he gestured towards the side of the gate, and showed me a small knob. "Go ahead, push it," he prompted. I eyed him suspiciously, yet was unable to contain the smile that rose to my lips. I did as told and pressed the little button. Instantly, lights began to illuminate the dark shadows behind the white gate.

"Happy Birthday, Lacus," Kira murmured softly.

I stared in utmost surprise as the lights began to reveal the secret. The ground was swathed in a blanket of red roses, through which a white path led from the white gate. The trail continued to a round square in which stood a beautiful fountain and a single tall lamp post. It was like a garden from heaven...

I turned and gaped at Kira, speechless. Was this his gift to me? Had he planned every single detail of the garden? "Oh, Kira!" I exclaimed softly, as soon as I found my voice, "This is so beautiful! I don't know what to say..." He blushed under my scrutiny and gazed at his shoes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, "Well, you know... you once said that you would like to dance among the roses. So, I thought you might like a rose garden... Do you, um... Do you like it?" He shifted his gaze to me hopefully, his hands clutched behind his back, like a shy little boy.

I laughed softly and caught him in a hug. "I love it a lot, thank you, Kira..." I whispered, resting my chin on his shoulder affectionately. I remembered it then, it had been Valentine's Day when I had first told him of my desire to dance among the roses...

"_I like the stars," Kira beamed at me while we sat on the porch in the deck chairs, our hands entwined. "It'll be nice to be able to dance among them, don't you think so?" I nodded, smiling back at him. "But I like roses," I told him, "To be able to dance in a field of roses must be wonderful..." I shifted my gaze to him and saw him watching me, a beautiful smile etched across his lips. "And romantic..." I added, laughing..._

"Oh... Well, I'm glad you like it then," Kira replied shyly, his arms embracing me tentatively. "I wanted it to be perfect... and special. You know... just for you and me..." I pulled away gently from him in order to see his face. He was blushing madly and he crooked his head to a side to hide it. I smiled, and took his chin in my hand, lifting his head. His eyes were large from surprise and they widened further when I bent close and kissed him tenderly on his lips.

All of a sudden, applause assaulted the peaceful silence. We broke away and stared in shock at the crowd that had appeared out of nowhere abruptly. "C-Cagalli!" Kira stuttered, pointing an accusing finger at the blonde heading the crowd.

"Oops," She chirped, "Dearka was the one who noticed you both leaving the party to come here!" She winked at Kira, sending him into another series of flustered blushes. "Well, it's time we left the lovebirds to themselves, everyone. Back to the party!" Miriallia laughed, beckoning to the crowd.

We watched them leave, until the laughter dissipated into silence once again. "Well... that was quite an interesting... interval..." I started but he stopped me with a finger to my lips.

"Shall we... dance?" He flushed again, but he held up a hand to me, which I took gratefully as he led me towards the open square where the fountain stood.

There was no music for us, but we danced perfectly in step... perfectly in love...

* * *

"Have you ever thought of how many children you would like to have?" I asked softly. Kira startled at my question, looking down at me with bewildered eyes. We were snuggled up on the couch, his arms around me while I leaned into his embrace. It had been a long day at the Supreme Council and we were longing for some peace and quiet.

Kira looked thoughtful. "You're asking me?" He returned the question, frowning in deep thought. "Well, we already have lots of kids on Earth and they're quite a handful." Then he grinned cheekily, "But I don't mind having some of our own..."

I laughed softly at his teasing, "Me too. It'll be nice to have kids of our own…"

"Well, 'twins' sound nice," he suggested. I nodded, smiling, trying to picture a mini Kira running around the house. "Maybe triplets?" he added, "Or quadruplets, or..."

"Kira!" I protested, whacking him on the arm playfully. "I'm sorry," he laughed, trying to sound apologetic but his amethyst eyes twinkled with amusement.

I shook my head at his mischief. But it would be nice though, to have such a big family, and have several miniature "Kiras" with those sparkling amethyst eyes and shock of brown tresses running all over the house… They would be adorable…

"I'll keep everyone safe," Kira murmured suddenly, "I promise…"

I tilted my head to look at him in surprise, broken out of my thoughts. His eyes were downcast and the shadow of memories that had once haunted him slid past those amethyst orbs. The smile he had had was no longer there…

"Kira…" I whispered softly. He shifted his gaze to me, and the determination and strength that shone in them touched me. "I'll keep fighting, to make sure that the world is safe, for all the children in the world, including ours…" He promised, his tone serious and earnest.

I smiled gently, "And I'll always be there, to support you, and together, we'll keep the world safe for all our children…" I repeated the words he had said, and allowed each one to sink deep into my soul, filling me with a pleasant warmth.

He leaned forward and rested his brow against mine. I closed my eyes, relishing in the intimacy. Softly, he whispered, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" I simply nodded, smiling. Then he moved closer and his lips grazed my ear.

"I love you…"

* * *

_No matter where you are, or where you go, I'll be willing to spend the rest of my life with you. __I will protect this world – the world that you promised to protect. I will keep it safe for all the children of the world… for all _our_ children…_

_And when I've finished, I will go to where you are. So wait for me, and we will dance among the rose gardens once again…_

_I love you, Kira…_

* * *

_Author's note: Well, that's the very end of it all. How did you find it? I hope it wasn't disappointing in any way… Please review, no matter how you find it. I accept all criticisms. _

_Well, before I go, I'll like to say a big thank you once again, to all who have supported me for so long. _

_Ah yes, just a small insight to what I'll be up to. As I stated, this story plot and ideas have been passed on to Ryan who will be 'rewriting' this story. As for me, I will, of course, finish LadyNightSky's request sometime in November or December. Please look out for that… I hope to hear from all of you. And afterwards, I have plans to write another long fanfiction. This time, it won't be tragedy-based, but romance-based. It'll probably be called "Rhythm of Love" – a story about how two music bands meet and how the band members fall in love. But, the story line is still under construction. It will begin, hopefully sometime in January…_

_Anyway, please review and thank you one and all, for all your support!_


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